The new editing system on this blog blows chunks so sorry if my margins spelling spacing
etc. etc. I can't scroll or edit properly so it's taking me twice as long to write this, I may have to buy a stupid app! Anyway...
About my lessons they may seem to others no brainers or even a bit self couscous, self indulgent however these are my life lessons and experiences that are chronicled, cull what you like.
I've made many mistakes mostly out of ignorance and lack of experience, some out of shear negligence and apathy, and the worst; from a deliberate kind of blindness choosing to think or act one way full knowing the truth. We pay for that in time, friendships and lost opportunities GRIEF. My goals are to never loose that again. It's been my practice for as many years as I can remember, and I may have written this before but it's worth repeating that before I fall asleep, I review my day. If I find that I was unhappy, upset, anything that didn't work I resolve to find away to fix and never repeat this. Not so easy but do-able. My ultimate goal is a page out of my sister Pam's book, to be happy. If your not happy none of its good, nothing. This is not the momentary quick happy but the deep long lasting abiding happy. It's a core thing looking deep in to your core, no more pretense no more persuading myself it'll be okay, or when blank happens...
DO NOT KID YOURSELF ON ANYTHING
Not sure how many lessons that is, but they are mine and I've got the medals and scars.
When I stayed with Margo and Rick awaiting the arrival of Niko in London, I saw a world so different than ours in the U.S. although we share common language heritage et. all. I'd been to the U.K. many times before as adjunct to Ira for work, or with Adam while he studied in Scotland. As a temporary resident of Hackney (five weeks), I could have been anywhere on the planet. In a six block radius we were in Jamaica, Turkey, Morocco, Africa, Asia the West Indies, India. More nations, dress, food, mores, dialects than I ever experienced in NY. I gawked at everything like a hick from a one horse town, it was all new and not necessarily exciting. I did feel threatened on occasion very out of place (says the wherra from Brownsville). There were no "Englishmen". Not unless you went closer to the city and the tourist areas, in the neighborhoods though they were a dead breed. Replaced by thugs and drunks. The local butcher shop was an oasis they were kind curtious and very English, olde school. The British culture as I knew it was supplanted and dead, I understood then when Margo came back to the states apart from needing to be closer to family, why they chose to leave.
Staying with them in Santa Fe was no less a huge change of venue. The clean piñon scented air, vistas of mountains valleys and adobe style homes a world apart. Everywhere you look is nothing like anywhere you'd been. The ride to Echo canyon, Chama, Albaqurgue was like changing channels on cable constantly. Whole Foods culture a world in its own, the food, people all of set apart from my east coast, south of the iron grande coast expereiance. Thay dry Mt. Air a respite for the weary.
When we were once all together in this new world it was my dream my ultimate birthday dream. Thank you Barry for allowing me to have the time with Niko, and for accommodating me in my 60th B'day wish. No blow out party high priced dinner with attending blow out gifts could ever have meant more to me. All that I received was gravy, the meat was being with you all, my plate could only have been fuller if all the machatunum could have been there...
Lesson#25 be clear and honest with yourself about what you really want and value, the being authentic thing is it.
Now I can't change this blinkity blink thing back! Hate this. Okay more blogging later Oy!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Tempus Fugit
Gigi, I was talking about you the other day. I haven't seen you in years and yet I still think about your stories and the wild ride of a life you led. You were my secret coach, more than any other woman in my life, your story and adventures fired my imagination and paved the way for a massive transformation in mine. It's true through the years I have met other extraordinary woman who have left little tid bits and wisdom like passing comets whos trails I was able to view after the initial planet disappeared. Yet in my mind I'm having the conversation with you, somehow you are still a presence and influence my emotional muse. Of course I take literary liberties with my lessons learned but they are all true all of these are from yours truly hard taught and fought for...
Lesson #1 dress and groom for yourself look in your own mirror, decide who you are and live it. I am cute and sexy with a drop of comfort in mind.
Lesson #2 if he isn't wild for you and treats you like his one and only with all the attending worship something is rotten in Denmark.
Lesson#3 moisturizer everywhere, scent and smooth limbs always a must. Not sure who said it but a girl who spends her last dime on perfume is a real woman.
Lesson #4 Learn to say no and reward with the occasional yes ( that's a tough one for a person pleaser)
Lesson#5 dirty dancing in the living room follows to the bedroom. Which is very different from the advise that my Grandfather gave me his was make every kiss a stolen kiss.
Lesson #6 take care of your man but remember you are not his mother
Lesson #7 The way to a mans heart may be through his stomach but there is an awful lot of listening commiserating and putting up with to keep it
Lesson #8 men and women can not be friends, if he brings his new friend home to meet you grab your pitchfork girls, and that include the quant new practice of texting
Lesson #9 everyday in everyway think cute and sexy even when your wringing the laundry in the slop sink after the machine refuses to spin
Lesson #10 give yourself a good stare in the mirror, congratulate, pet, smile and reward its likely the only time you will have such a bulstering moment in the day, a pinch on the cheek doesn't hurt either
Lesson #11 do and eat one thing that you want once a day even if it's just a shnibble, and ten minutes of screaming down the toilet bowl (highly recommend if you have 3 kids under the age of five) ( or the equivalent of one former bachelor husband who is obsessive)
Lesson#12 if it hurts fix it or high thee to the bleeder cause you shouldn't suffer in silence! Seriously
Lesson#13 hair grows in very weird places after 50 the eye brow razors and threading girls are your best friend, when in doubt just pluck and keep on a plucking
Lesson#14 if it's perky it will sag, flop, droop and end up somewhere frightful forget a retirement fund nobody can afford to retire start a droopy day fund and and in case of divorce looking great is the best revenge fund. Wish I had thought of this 30 years ago, gotta find out if they'll do a layaway Botox Restilin at the near by clinic
Lesson #15 you'd better have a lot more than mad money stashed away for ICE
Lesson#16 just do it cause you're going to be a year older next year and you'll have lost that time fretting over being too old, bull shit never too old!
Lesson#17 pick a guys who isn't afraid to fart, cause I promise you even if you've never farted in your life after 50 you will everywhere at anytime so if he's already turning purple trying to pretend he isn't he'll be over the moon when you start to so he can just let himself go
Lesson #18 being polite never gets old it just puts you in a good place no matter how gnarly the other person is you can just smile politely and pat yourself on the back
Lesson#19 learn to say your sorry or I don't know, It really doesn't hurt
Lesson#20 when the screaming or the freezing is over tell the person you love them it's vital
Lesson#21 seriously never go to bed angry part b to this is don't hold a grudge and hang it out to dry at every big argument air it out and be done with it
Lesson#22 make time for a special grooming day, even if you do it all for yourself set one day a month aside and wash wax and lube your chassis
Lesson#23 make a girls night out and keep it. I haven't done this and now when I do the fella gets all pouty and whiny even though he pretends to man up about it. He still makes me feel guilty on the occasion
Lesson#24 pick your battles, and let him know that you are conceding when it is less important to you and that by gum he WILL conceed when YOU feel just as strongly. It's not about who's turn it is it's when you really need to hold firm, remember that in the heat of the struggle if there is one, that whatever you say hangs there above your head in italics. Once you say it you can never take it back. Tact my dears is under rated
More lessons later I think
When we first met I was a mother of three in a difficult marriage with someone who was not available to me emotionally or more often than not physically. It was a lifeless relationship that I kept alive in my mind by crazy deceptions and lies. You as many other of my friends saw this. With your chiding and gentle bullying you began my slow transformation. Pushing me to transform my physical self while trying to see me open the world around me. The day you told me "you look like a housewife, do you want to look like a housewife? Do you want to look cute and sexy? With that thick. French purr of an accent and your red lips pursed at me in disapproval your eyebrow raised (I envy that emocon). You were beating the ball of your foot on the floor in a very French expression of pique as you tapped a brush over your palm, while I had the flibbety gibbets over the discussion of turning me blonde. Not a little highlight here or there blonde fing blonde. No dipping the toes in you turned me platinum BLONDE. No I wanted to be cute and sexy but I hadn't ever really had the power of feeling cute let alone sexy. A big busted shy girl with a tiny head and big eyes thin hair I just never got it all together in my head. I never felt that girl power, I should have looking back now I see that i was pretty and not the fat girl I saw in the mirror. The fat girl my mother talked about the clutsy gawky big chested funny looking kid. I look at old pictures and see that there was unrealized potential clay to be molded if i'd met the right person(s). Well I'll tell you it's never too late not ever. I'm a slow learner but I got there!
So it's 1999, I'm three days from selling the house and moving to Spring Hill Fl. With two cats and a few belongings as I've sold the new home owners almost all of my furniture, and given away others. I was on my way to pick up cat food for the trip and decided on a whim to drive by your home I hadn't seen you in 3-4 years. You didn't know about the divorce, my taking in students to make ends meet. Adam and Margo away at school Craig graduating and getting ready to go himself to PA. I didn't just have empty nest I had everything vanished hocus locus and I was trying to put this Humpty together again. I had crawled into a shell for those few years of separation and subsequent divorce so it hadn't occurred to me to seek you out. I knew for sure afterwards that that had been a mistake and lost opportunity for both of us.
There you were going to your mail box still the figure of elegance and perfumed cute blonde older French lady with her shit together. When I stopped you squealed and we hugged. The fastest catch up session ever, with you commiserating and reviling my now X. We were both moving on to FL. You'd sold your house and were leaving the next day, with your wonderful husband, the love of your life. I was traveling the unknown on my own but was truly happy and ready. I had lost a lot of weight through the years and you marveled about how cute and sexy I looked and that I should take chances and not give in to convention but throw it to the wind. And that my dear is just what happened only in a more conventional way, habits like mine die hard. I hadn't dated during the long haul of separation and divorce and I wasn't looking forward to the process when my feet finally hit the sand and red ants of Florida so the universe plopped Barry right in front of me. I'd been propositioned picked up and followed around and Id had no problem resisting all of these delights, and then there was Barry. Young cute never married obsessive with work dancing sports music, did I mention young? Gigi you wanted me to have an affair and find someone who would pay attention to me who would dance and drink and listen to me. Who would make love to me like I deserved and blow my nose when I needed the help. Stage right Barry. So it wasn't a true affair with the attendant skulking and crazy French underthings, intrigues and high adrenaline from all the drama. We were both unattached but there was a hell of a lot of all the rest of it. I'd finally reached my Parisian moment. I was dressing the way I wanted (cute and sexy) learning to dance, going out at night, seeing shows having a life a real life, and there was a guy who was listening to me caring about me and we were growing together slowly but surely. Yeah bumps in the road and more trauma then I ever want again, lost fortunes but in the end, okay, it was okay.
Now thirteen almost fourteen years down the line it's good. Margo married to a wonderful guy and made me a bubbie, Adam also married to a fantastic woman, Craig happy with a terrific gal and Barry and I are an old married couple. When we first met you were 57, I think maybe I was close to forty or so. It wasn't the age difference though it was the life experiences that separated us. I'm 60 now and all though I'll never be able to match some of your life experiences I'd say for me I've come a long way baby.
We were all in Santa Fe and looking at old pictures I was a hot mess, heavy, sad, unkempt un loved. Two decades. Time well spent. So what did I learn? To love myself to put myself first and learn to say no, that frees me to be there truly for everyone without sacrificing myself. Not to put what I want so far into the future, I spend more time in the here and now not looking over my shoulder. I don't allow negativity in my life but surround myself with loving supportive people, I speak my mind frankly
Lesson #1 dress and groom for yourself look in your own mirror, decide who you are and live it. I am cute and sexy with a drop of comfort in mind.
Lesson #2 if he isn't wild for you and treats you like his one and only with all the attending worship something is rotten in Denmark.
Lesson#3 moisturizer everywhere, scent and smooth limbs always a must. Not sure who said it but a girl who spends her last dime on perfume is a real woman.
Lesson #4 Learn to say no and reward with the occasional yes ( that's a tough one for a person pleaser)
Lesson#5 dirty dancing in the living room follows to the bedroom. Which is very different from the advise that my Grandfather gave me his was make every kiss a stolen kiss.
Lesson #6 take care of your man but remember you are not his mother
Lesson #7 The way to a mans heart may be through his stomach but there is an awful lot of listening commiserating and putting up with to keep it
Lesson #8 men and women can not be friends, if he brings his new friend home to meet you grab your pitchfork girls, and that include the quant new practice of texting
Lesson #9 everyday in everyway think cute and sexy even when your wringing the laundry in the slop sink after the machine refuses to spin
Lesson #10 give yourself a good stare in the mirror, congratulate, pet, smile and reward its likely the only time you will have such a bulstering moment in the day, a pinch on the cheek doesn't hurt either
Lesson #11 do and eat one thing that you want once a day even if it's just a shnibble, and ten minutes of screaming down the toilet bowl (highly recommend if you have 3 kids under the age of five) ( or the equivalent of one former bachelor husband who is obsessive)
Lesson#12 if it hurts fix it or high thee to the bleeder cause you shouldn't suffer in silence! Seriously
Lesson#13 hair grows in very weird places after 50 the eye brow razors and threading girls are your best friend, when in doubt just pluck and keep on a plucking
Lesson#14 if it's perky it will sag, flop, droop and end up somewhere frightful forget a retirement fund nobody can afford to retire start a droopy day fund and and in case of divorce looking great is the best revenge fund. Wish I had thought of this 30 years ago, gotta find out if they'll do a layaway Botox Restilin at the near by clinic
Lesson #15 you'd better have a lot more than mad money stashed away for ICE
Lesson#16 just do it cause you're going to be a year older next year and you'll have lost that time fretting over being too old, bull shit never too old!
Lesson#17 pick a guys who isn't afraid to fart, cause I promise you even if you've never farted in your life after 50 you will everywhere at anytime so if he's already turning purple trying to pretend he isn't he'll be over the moon when you start to so he can just let himself go
Lesson #18 being polite never gets old it just puts you in a good place no matter how gnarly the other person is you can just smile politely and pat yourself on the back
Lesson#19 learn to say your sorry or I don't know, It really doesn't hurt
Lesson#20 when the screaming or the freezing is over tell the person you love them it's vital
Lesson#21 seriously never go to bed angry part b to this is don't hold a grudge and hang it out to dry at every big argument air it out and be done with it
Lesson#22 make time for a special grooming day, even if you do it all for yourself set one day a month aside and wash wax and lube your chassis
Lesson#23 make a girls night out and keep it. I haven't done this and now when I do the fella gets all pouty and whiny even though he pretends to man up about it. He still makes me feel guilty on the occasion
Lesson#24 pick your battles, and let him know that you are conceding when it is less important to you and that by gum he WILL conceed when YOU feel just as strongly. It's not about who's turn it is it's when you really need to hold firm, remember that in the heat of the struggle if there is one, that whatever you say hangs there above your head in italics. Once you say it you can never take it back. Tact my dears is under rated
More lessons later I think
When we first met I was a mother of three in a difficult marriage with someone who was not available to me emotionally or more often than not physically. It was a lifeless relationship that I kept alive in my mind by crazy deceptions and lies. You as many other of my friends saw this. With your chiding and gentle bullying you began my slow transformation. Pushing me to transform my physical self while trying to see me open the world around me. The day you told me "you look like a housewife, do you want to look like a housewife? Do you want to look cute and sexy? With that thick. French purr of an accent and your red lips pursed at me in disapproval your eyebrow raised (I envy that emocon). You were beating the ball of your foot on the floor in a very French expression of pique as you tapped a brush over your palm, while I had the flibbety gibbets over the discussion of turning me blonde. Not a little highlight here or there blonde fing blonde. No dipping the toes in you turned me platinum BLONDE. No I wanted to be cute and sexy but I hadn't ever really had the power of feeling cute let alone sexy. A big busted shy girl with a tiny head and big eyes thin hair I just never got it all together in my head. I never felt that girl power, I should have looking back now I see that i was pretty and not the fat girl I saw in the mirror. The fat girl my mother talked about the clutsy gawky big chested funny looking kid. I look at old pictures and see that there was unrealized potential clay to be molded if i'd met the right person(s). Well I'll tell you it's never too late not ever. I'm a slow learner but I got there!
So it's 1999, I'm three days from selling the house and moving to Spring Hill Fl. With two cats and a few belongings as I've sold the new home owners almost all of my furniture, and given away others. I was on my way to pick up cat food for the trip and decided on a whim to drive by your home I hadn't seen you in 3-4 years. You didn't know about the divorce, my taking in students to make ends meet. Adam and Margo away at school Craig graduating and getting ready to go himself to PA. I didn't just have empty nest I had everything vanished hocus locus and I was trying to put this Humpty together again. I had crawled into a shell for those few years of separation and subsequent divorce so it hadn't occurred to me to seek you out. I knew for sure afterwards that that had been a mistake and lost opportunity for both of us.
There you were going to your mail box still the figure of elegance and perfumed cute blonde older French lady with her shit together. When I stopped you squealed and we hugged. The fastest catch up session ever, with you commiserating and reviling my now X. We were both moving on to FL. You'd sold your house and were leaving the next day, with your wonderful husband, the love of your life. I was traveling the unknown on my own but was truly happy and ready. I had lost a lot of weight through the years and you marveled about how cute and sexy I looked and that I should take chances and not give in to convention but throw it to the wind. And that my dear is just what happened only in a more conventional way, habits like mine die hard. I hadn't dated during the long haul of separation and divorce and I wasn't looking forward to the process when my feet finally hit the sand and red ants of Florida so the universe plopped Barry right in front of me. I'd been propositioned picked up and followed around and Id had no problem resisting all of these delights, and then there was Barry. Young cute never married obsessive with work dancing sports music, did I mention young? Gigi you wanted me to have an affair and find someone who would pay attention to me who would dance and drink and listen to me. Who would make love to me like I deserved and blow my nose when I needed the help. Stage right Barry. So it wasn't a true affair with the attendant skulking and crazy French underthings, intrigues and high adrenaline from all the drama. We were both unattached but there was a hell of a lot of all the rest of it. I'd finally reached my Parisian moment. I was dressing the way I wanted (cute and sexy) learning to dance, going out at night, seeing shows having a life a real life, and there was a guy who was listening to me caring about me and we were growing together slowly but surely. Yeah bumps in the road and more trauma then I ever want again, lost fortunes but in the end, okay, it was okay.
Now thirteen almost fourteen years down the line it's good. Margo married to a wonderful guy and made me a bubbie, Adam also married to a fantastic woman, Craig happy with a terrific gal and Barry and I are an old married couple. When we first met you were 57, I think maybe I was close to forty or so. It wasn't the age difference though it was the life experiences that separated us. I'm 60 now and all though I'll never be able to match some of your life experiences I'd say for me I've come a long way baby.
We were all in Santa Fe and looking at old pictures I was a hot mess, heavy, sad, unkempt un loved. Two decades. Time well spent. So what did I learn? To love myself to put myself first and learn to say no, that frees me to be there truly for everyone without sacrificing myself. Not to put what I want so far into the future, I spend more time in the here and now not looking over my shoulder. I don't allow negativity in my life but surround myself with loving supportive people, I speak my mind frankly
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Pointer or schlepper there's the question
I've written snipits of stuff to post only to shuffle all the papers around and then let them settle together in a heap. Several years worth actually some just started some half finished, my bad. I'm telling you time doesn't fly it down right vanishes as if it's just never been. Here one moment hey presto the next. I wrote a long nice blog after Margo and Ricks reception in Sante Fe and thought I published it and somehow lost it. Not sure how that happened so I'm going to do this in stages so I don't repeat that disaster.
I've got the snippet of one I wrote not long after my surgery that's almost 3 years ago, I wasn't kidding about the loss of time here goes...
The last few months have been interesting chalanging a learning process. I have a new hero, my husband Barry. Working impossibly long hours at work the holing up in his home office for innumerable additional hours. He brings so much resolve and passion to what he does, pressing forward with boundless energy. He does this with surprising goodwill and humor when I'm sure I should be cranky and out of sorts. Of the two I appear calmer the more moderate one, yet Barry has now acquired a more even temper with regards to work and it's pressures and disappointments. Maybe it's a factor of age, but I have less patience a more hair trigger reaction. It's a big change in our personalities and wonder why. I've noticed I am much more reserved and less able to share of myself. Regrettable really. Barry on the other hand has become quite open and more emotionally transparent. During my recent surgery Barry really stepped up to the plate. He was an advocate, partner, caretaker. With new patience and love he helped me through a brutal painful and long recovery. In my pre Barry days I had not experienced that level of partnership and caring. I was the one that was the giver-doer. As a friend of mine secinctly pointed out I was the schlepper. I wasn't raised to be the reciever the recipient . My first marriage enforced this and I, just kept asking not how high but how long. My friend and teacher pointed to me and stated that I was a schlepper and I needed to learn to become a pointer. "what do you want to be for the rest of your life a schlepper or a pointer". As a couple we have come to the height of our power, as individuals we continue to grow. Intuitively one would think that was askew. I think we were both ready to grow but starting at different points. As a young wife and mother it was all about everything/ one else, I didn't know who or what I was or wanted. I didn't have a single adult expereiance it was from my fathers home to my husbands no college in between. High school, work, marriage work kids, divorce. Barry did the college get drunk, pull yourself up, throw yourself into work thing. independent hardworking hardplaying non commit kind of guy. Then we collided. Barry's strength in learning to give has given me the gift of learning to receive.
The surgery was huge itself and difficult, it had been left too long because of my non existent health care. My surgeon was very honest and very up front but I truly thought I'm strong he doesn't know me I'll bounce right. Ack this is all crap. So, I wasn't prepared for the recovery, the shock was more than physical. I had to retool my psychology and accept help, a except that I am not strong as an ox a ballabuster. I had to learn to be gentle with myself to honor my needs, weaknesses. Rossana and Barry have made the process so much easier on me. I was glass I fought the feeling the rage of being glass, the inconvenience the sheer totality of needing someone and accepting their help, being helpless. That growth was painful as painful as the 6 inch incision running from the center of my sternum down to my belly button. Accepting my new limitations after the struggle of recovery was natural as I had a view to preserving myself as I had never done before. I am high (er) maintainance and that's ok, perfectly fine just dandy. Well, it is a process. The love and support I received from near and far sustained me and bolstered my newly found self esteem. I'm grateful. My humor and health restored my hero by my side, my best friend on the other it's all good.
Living in Texas is definitely different from anywhere. Living in deep south-east Texas is? In my earlier blogs I wrote about the politics, I am wholly offended and outraged that a governor my governor would ever utter the words session. Did I mention humiliated stupefied? In my lexicon that word sentiment is blasfamous treasonous and heretical. No true American patriot would ever spit those words out. We would swallow boiling oil first. Fair weather patriots with guns openly displayed, paper tigers! My son, dad and cousins great uncles etc who served and fought for this country should never have to know that the people they fight for would ever consider such an act.
As a post script to this I am astonished and amazed that the republican field of presidential candidates sports the name of Rick Perry on its ballet for this indignity alone.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power" -Abraham Lincoln
Lovers Lane, Brownsville,
July 18, 2010
It has been again nearly a year since my last posting I am astonished, I thought surly I had gotten the writing/musing bug since. Time has really slipped by and I have not noted it, how strange.
Where do I start here, first all is well, we are on a whole moving forward and trying to keep a positive attitude in the face of the near annihilation of the Gulf of Mexico. Health care was passed although it was in my opinion put through the shredder, they left out the most important bits.
Barry works harder than ever with one Hurricane and a second Tropical storm under our belt early in the season. He spent a week helping out the much beleaguered Mobile, while they are freed up to forecast for the BP oil spill. We have not seen signs of the oil here, our water remains clean for now, even after Alex swept past us. This is a nightmare there is no waking from. I am speechless that there are still factions demanding that we begin drilling deep water wells immediately damn the consequences. I thought we had heard it all with the lies of our last Administration WMD's and the like. The ruthless waiving of our protections in place and backroom deals, of the King makers. But I am utterly breathless with the Gaul and callousness with witch the CEO etc. of BP have behaved. Rape, annihilation, crass indifference, of our ecology and economy are just a few words to describe what has happened and continues to happen. I have applauded this Administration for all of it's innovation and the alacrity of such, but boy did everybody drop the ball on this one. Even after injunctions to stop the spraying of dispersant's BP blithely ignored all. The loss of life will not be just the 11 souls lost on the platform and the honorable Captain who committed suicide, it will be untold for years to come because of the gross negligence of our overseeing agency, BP out right, and hosts of others who profit hugely from the recovery of oil from the earth. Pass the guilt around and none have stood up and done "the right thing". Read this in your head with a scathing bitter tone of voice and you might approximate the level of anger and disgust I feel.
So I take a deep breath and try to gather up all the news from Brownsville and our far flung friends and family. OK big sigh...
End of September I received the ultimate Happy Birthday gift from the universe. Going through a short cut, near the house I saw in the middle of the road two dogs. The female chihuahua had been hit and died the male mixed breed was protecting her and standing over her body. Frantically trying to get help for her. I pulled over and lifted her off to the grass verge. He followed and tried to nudge her awake, he was signaling me to help. I knew if I left him there he would run back and forth in the street and he would be a casualty as well. I walked a few feet away and called him when he dashed over I loaded him in to my truck and drove him home. He was panting and Mal nourished exhausted and traumatized, and cute. After giving him two doses of feline Frontline and feeding him chicken I spent the next few hours picking ticks and flees off. He let me groom and pick to my hearts content. Dr. Missy after responding to my SOS gave him a clean bill of health shots ET all, and made an appointment for three weeks to neuter him. Collar leash, etc. procured, Barry, Craig and I, came to an agreement he was to be Cesar. I wanted Leal, Loyal but love Cesar Milano the "Dog Whisperer" so...I do call him Cesar Leal in our intimate petting bonding times. Sometimes I see the sadness in his eyes for the pretty female who died. I often look in the area to see if any offspring can be found. He is such a sweet loving dog and he is as quirky as Pablo. They, are the best of friends and play and wrestle between naps. It is so much fun to watch these two interact, Callie also has taken to Cesar, although she achews the horseplay for some licky snoozy time with him. I thank the universe who heard me say more than once to Barry, I would like a dog...
Craig has spent a semester at our local campus of UTB and is working part time at Best Buy. His plans are to register in the Spring in Austin after the fall semester here. I am so very happy that he will continue with his degree process and have enjoyed having Craig again so close. I think he has a love hate relationship with the area, but I think it has been a very good experience all in all. in June Craig flew to London for a week with the Casados' and then to Paris for a week spending time with friends. He brought me home a beautiful gold band that was found in the park and it fits perfectly!
Goli, and Adam built the Town House we had a wonderful party there, ( I swear I wrote a blog all about this but maybe it's Deja vu). On second thought though, the commute has been very hard and they rented it out and may look for something in town. As I write they have left their visit with Margo and Ricki and have headed to Paris. Bon Voyage, and enjoy your Euro trip kids. Tyrion their pup is a delight and I think Sholeh and he are inseparable. I don't think he gets along with the resident cat, he sees her as sport, and she in turn does not like guerrilla warfare.
Margo and Ricki have been travelling between work. On their Christmas holiday they sailed down the Nile and toured Egypt. Thank you Isis. We are expecting a little girl early in September. That makes me a Bubbie and Barry a Zedie, I can't help it, I think it's very funny in this day and age but I am coming to love the monikers more and more. I know Carmen and Mel are over the moon and delighted. I am leaving for London on the 18th of Aug. and coming home tentatively Sept. 22nd Margo's birthday. I hope Carmen can meet me there and we can co-coach and cheerleaders.
Rossana and I have been up to no good as often as we can, and I continue to make lunches so we can gab to our hearts content. It is wild really we talk all day and or text all day and still have things to to share. We often muse what we would get up to if we were back door neighbors, pajama parties and tea in the wee small hours. I have a lot of thanking to do this year Yom Tov.
Barry and I are content, although we miss dancing and food and markets. We, US, are happy and bicker lightly or tease sardonically. And once in a while just to let the air out we have a bit of a toe to toe and it is all good. Because he knows that I am really right, LOL.
Clark, Barry's nephew continues to grow and I think is topping six feet. He is also one of the top students at the Barry school, and his musical prowess grows as he masters several wind instruments, Latin Hebrew and Spanish. I'm tired just thinking about it. All i can say is Kvell.
My nephew Harrison is gearing up for his Bar Mitzvah, and tells me all about the party my sister has planned and wow is it. He ends the description with a wink, this is my mom's idea of just a little something. He cracks me up. I can"t wait and will go dress/gown hunting ASAP. I think I may mail it up to N.Y. just in case...
Since the last posting I think I am even smaller, you can't see but I am now a size small-6. I haven"t been that little since I was a toddler, seriously. I spent about eight hours yesterday finally purging my closet and dresser of stuff, and the last of my big cloths. I made a big commitment here, I have given away the last of it. I think I am shrinking though, not just the weight. We used to kid about my mother being just a wisp of Platinum white hair over the steering wheel, I um think I am going to become a wisp of Strawberry Blond over my steering wheel seriously.
I continue to make Jewelry, selling some. I think in the late fall I will host a tea and show my line. I have a growing stock and as much as I like hording it's time to let go. My pantry will attest to my new non hording venture as I slowly use it up and refill very judicially. Turning over some old habits are hard, but we evolve so...
As always I am greatful for my friends and family for being such loves. And for the brilliant soul who invented spell check.
"It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference." - Tom Brokaw
Lovers Lane, Brownsville,
July 18, 2010
It has been again nearly a year since my last posting I am astonished, I thought surly I had gotten the writing/musing bug since. Time has really slipped by and I have not noted it, how strange.
Where do I start here, first all is well, we are on a whole moving forward and trying to keep a positive attitude in the face of the near annihilation of the Gulf of Mexico. Health care was passed although it was in my opinion put through the shredder, they left out the most important bits.
Barry works harder than ever with one Hurricane and a second Tropical storm under our belt early in the season. He spent a week helping out the much beleaguered Mobile, while they are freed up to forecast for the BP oil spill. We have not seen signs of the oil here, our water remains clean for now, even after Alex swept past us. This is a nightmare there is no waking from. I am speechless that there are still factions demanding that we begin drilling deep water wells immediately damn the consequences. I thought we had heard it all with the lies of our last Administration WMD's and the like. The ruthless waiving of our protections in place and backroom deals, of the King makers. But I am utterly breathless with the Gaul and callousness with witch the CEO etc. of BP have behaved. Rape, annihilation, crass indifference, of our ecology and economy are just a few words to describe what has happened and continues to happen. I have applauded this Administration for all of it's innovation and the alacrity of such, but boy did everybody drop the ball on this one. Even after injunctions to stop the spraying of dispersant's BP blithely ignored all. The loss of life will not be just the 11 souls lost on the platform and the honorable Captain who committed suicide, it will be untold for years to come because of the gross negligence of our overseeing agency, BP out right, and hosts of others who profit hugely from the recovery of oil from the earth. Pass the guilt around and none have stood up and done "the right thing". Read this in your head with a scathing bitter tone of voice and you might approximate the level of anger and disgust I feel.
So I take a deep breath and try to gather up all the news from Brownsville and our far flung friends and family. OK big sigh...
End of September I received the ultimate Happy Birthday gift from the universe. Going through a short cut, near the house I saw in the middle of the road two dogs. The female chihuahua had been hit and died the male mixed breed was protecting her and standing over her body. Frantically trying to get help for her. I pulled over and lifted her off to the grass verge. He followed and tried to nudge her awake, he was signaling me to help. I knew if I left him there he would run back and forth in the street and he would be a casualty as well. I walked a few feet away and called him when he dashed over I loaded him in to my truck and drove him home. He was panting and Mal nourished exhausted and traumatized, and cute. After giving him two doses of feline Frontline and feeding him chicken I spent the next few hours picking ticks and flees off. He let me groom and pick to my hearts content. Dr. Missy after responding to my SOS gave him a clean bill of health shots ET all, and made an appointment for three weeks to neuter him. Collar leash, etc. procured, Barry, Craig and I, came to an agreement he was to be Cesar. I wanted Leal, Loyal but love Cesar Milano the "Dog Whisperer" so...I do call him Cesar Leal in our intimate petting bonding times. Sometimes I see the sadness in his eyes for the pretty female who died. I often look in the area to see if any offspring can be found. He is such a sweet loving dog and he is as quirky as Pablo. They, are the best of friends and play and wrestle between naps. It is so much fun to watch these two interact, Callie also has taken to Cesar, although she achews the horseplay for some licky snoozy time with him. I thank the universe who heard me say more than once to Barry, I would like a dog...
Craig has spent a semester at our local campus of UTB and is working part time at Best Buy. His plans are to register in the Spring in Austin after the fall semester here. I am so very happy that he will continue with his degree process and have enjoyed having Craig again so close. I think he has a love hate relationship with the area, but I think it has been a very good experience all in all. in June Craig flew to London for a week with the Casados' and then to Paris for a week spending time with friends. He brought me home a beautiful gold band that was found in the park and it fits perfectly!
Goli, and Adam built the Town House we had a wonderful party there, ( I swear I wrote a blog all about this but maybe it's Deja vu). On second thought though, the commute has been very hard and they rented it out and may look for something in town. As I write they have left their visit with Margo and Ricki and have headed to Paris. Bon Voyage, and enjoy your Euro trip kids. Tyrion their pup is a delight and I think Sholeh and he are inseparable. I don't think he gets along with the resident cat, he sees her as sport, and she in turn does not like guerrilla warfare.
Margo and Ricki have been travelling between work. On their Christmas holiday they sailed down the Nile and toured Egypt. Thank you Isis. We are expecting a little girl early in September. That makes me a Bubbie and Barry a Zedie, I can't help it, I think it's very funny in this day and age but I am coming to love the monikers more and more. I know Carmen and Mel are over the moon and delighted. I am leaving for London on the 18th of Aug. and coming home tentatively Sept. 22nd Margo's birthday. I hope Carmen can meet me there and we can co-coach and cheerleaders.
Rossana and I have been up to no good as often as we can, and I continue to make lunches so we can gab to our hearts content. It is wild really we talk all day and or text all day and still have things to to share. We often muse what we would get up to if we were back door neighbors, pajama parties and tea in the wee small hours. I have a lot of thanking to do this year Yom Tov.
Barry and I are content, although we miss dancing and food and markets. We, US, are happy and bicker lightly or tease sardonically. And once in a while just to let the air out we have a bit of a toe to toe and it is all good. Because he knows that I am really right, LOL.
Clark, Barry's nephew continues to grow and I think is topping six feet. He is also one of the top students at the Barry school, and his musical prowess grows as he masters several wind instruments, Latin Hebrew and Spanish. I'm tired just thinking about it. All i can say is Kvell.
My nephew Harrison is gearing up for his Bar Mitzvah, and tells me all about the party my sister has planned and wow is it. He ends the description with a wink, this is my mom's idea of just a little something. He cracks me up. I can"t wait and will go dress/gown hunting ASAP. I think I may mail it up to N.Y. just in case...
Since the last posting I think I am even smaller, you can't see but I am now a size small-6. I haven"t been that little since I was a toddler, seriously. I spent about eight hours yesterday finally purging my closet and dresser of stuff, and the last of my big cloths. I made a big commitment here, I have given away the last of it. I think I am shrinking though, not just the weight. We used to kid about my mother being just a wisp of Platinum white hair over the steering wheel, I um think I am going to become a wisp of Strawberry Blond over my steering wheel seriously.
I continue to make Jewelry, selling some. I think in the late fall I will host a tea and show my line. I have a growing stock and as much as I like hording it's time to let go. My pantry will attest to my new non hording venture as I slowly use it up and refill very judicially. Turning over some old habits are hard, but we evolve so...
As always I am greatful for my friends and family for being such loves. And for the brilliant soul who invented spell check.
"It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference." - Tom Brokaw
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
QUE' VIVA
September 11, McAllen Texas
Wednesday was 09-09-2009, I'm not sure of the ramifications, number permutations et all, but it was on the whole a good day. I was able to get through a 30 min. Zumba tape without tripping over my self too much these last two days. The weight has stopped coming off and I am at a plateau, I need too firm up all the flesh that seems to be left. I tried on a few of my old dresses and pants and they are comically grande, xtra big on me, yet when I see pictures of myself I do not see any changes I seem to look as fat and tum tummy as ever! The proof is on the scales, and cloths sizes but not on film or my mind...
Rossana and I were invited to a special event in Matamoros for La Mesa Redonda Panamericana. It was the new officers induction, and our friend Victoria is on the incoming board. Victoria is a marvelous elegant multi-talented woman. Fastidious and trim, her ballet training is visible as well as the horsewoman posture and demeanor. She is a dentist par excellence, her dental spa with its pure oxygen filled room, special lighting, and two lasers have sold me on her high tech all natural approach. Victoria is very involved in the cultural center of her community and is on the forefront of promoting healthy living and lifestyle. No easy task in Mexico.
It is wonderful to be invited to such an August group, Rossana and I have to plan our outfits. Here in Brownsville it is very casual and with my large weight loss, cloths are a big issue right now. My better cloths are at a bare minimum, but I do have one pair of pant, if hidden by a longer jacket I can pin at my waist. I also have a box jacket sequined in an animal print, that will allow me to do this, so, I have it covered. We cross the border looking elegant and fitting the occasion. Rossana, in a black dress and ruby red silk jacket and thin red belt, looks like a jewel with the red set we pull from the jewelry collection. As usual the dynamic duo is early, the invitation says four we learn it is really slated for five. Having a very expensive lemonade at the hotel restaurant we bide our time as other elegant ladies arrive and also have coffee etc. Slowly woman from all over the valley trickle in, as well as those whose chapter is in Mexico. The Mayors mother as well as other VIP wives are so noted, and we are asked if we are VIPS. Well, no I guess we are only two nice ladies from Brownsville, rather ordinary in some way but very very special in others. Oh and the funny uncanny question comes up again are you sisters?
Vicky is part of the master of ceremonies duo so she is furiously working out the details with her other half and can not visit with us before hand. Seated at our table we watch the proceedings take shape and meet our fellow table mate. Victoria, has a wonderful speaking voice and is a terrific singer and performer this is a natural for her. A local high school color guard files in as well as the high school Mariachi band, they await the invocation to present the flag and play the National Anthem. I have heard it before at the beginning of soccer matches this is the first time it is so intimate. It really is very striking with the flags being presented and the band playing. Once started the ceremonies are formal and quite a bit different than ours. We seem so informal in comparison. Several times during the proceedings and speeches they repeat their motto in English "One for all, and all for one." As I recall Alexander Dumas coined the phrase for his Three Musketeers series. An interesting choice. As I understand it the lady who spearheaded this organization was from Texas with roots deep in Mexico. Among other things they sponsor full scholarships and this year there will be six.
The young woman on my left at the table is also a guest of Victoria, she and her husband own a "stamp" business. In Mexico an employer can give their employees bonuses and raises by way of purchasing stamps. These stamps are good at any grocery store, tax free to both the employee and employer. A very novel way of raising the standard of living.
Liquid Spanish flows and washes over me. I have stopped trying to self translate and just enjoy the sound. I have the luxury of observing the process, and the assembled ladies. Eventually a dinner of Mexican Meatloaf is served with bread and potatoes. I had been smelling the enticing aroma of Jalapeno peppers only to find the pickled variety on the table. Unlike Rossana who hates pickles and loves the pickled pepper, I love pickles and loath the pickled pepper. I eat at least one cooked or raw pepper a day. I swear it kicks my metabolic rate into high gear. The older traditional (eating) woman of the valley are slim, spry and very vital, it is only the succeeding generations that are so heavy and out of shape. It is the American diet of fast foods that have corrupted the traditional Mexican diet that is so close to the Mediterranean one.
It is dark and we are seconds away from the border, at this time of the evening crossing is a snap. I felt though that I had been decades away, while in Brownsville I am in the 21st century. It is when I cross the border I am transported back to an earlier more formal yet more leasurly time. The civility I find across the border is so pronounced, it feels like we are heathens and lunatics in comparison. Our collective ancestors, parents and grands are twisting and turning with appall at our new cultural icons and morays. We as a nation have been in a steady decline in so many ways, until now a thin thread of civility has kept us from being the proverbial Huns. This summer the veneer was stripped and we as a people have become nothing less than bores and truly the ugly American of repute. I am a relic. Without civility and manners we as a Nation are doomed as the Romans doomed themselves with excess, complacency and the attitude of superiority, and divine right. History always repeats it's self, where are the Egyptians, Spanish? What of modern British society, my daughter tells me, they are drunkards who have lost all civility, and culture. We fail utterly once we forget how to be kind, humane, courteous. The utter deceit and theft of whole truth (s) condemns us to a rapid decline and mediocrity as a people and a nation. Ethics, civility, and fidelity are dead words in our culture, it has become a very cruel world.
Here they shake hands, and everyone receives a kiss. Children greet/part with you, with a handshake and a clear eyed acknowledgment. Greetings are voiced, as are formal goodbyes given in the same way as the salutation. For a moment you are connected and welcomed in. Your parting means something. When someone passes by they acknowledge you and murmur Con Permiso, eye contact. Good afternoon/evening, charming, consistent, warmth. It survives here and reminds me of my childhood, the lessons of yes 'mam and sir. It is not all butterscotch and whipped cream. I find the disconnect here as well, but people are on a whole courteous. We need to work on the littering and disregard for property and my pet peeve replacing the shopping carts to the holders here, but by g-d people are nice and helpful. It is the little touches though that are charming. I am drawn to the culture, food and way of life. I would happily retire to Mexico given the chance, I hope that they can work out the vast problems of a poor nation, and take back the regions that are bedeviled by the drug cartels here. The Mexican people truly deserve better and a Fence is not the answer.
Did I mention once again I am writing at an airport awaiting our delayed plane for Albuquerque, I seem to do my best writing on the fly.
"Que' Viva," is taking us to New Mexico, Santa Fe. Nearly a year ago Margo and Ricky were married in Brooklyn N.Y. Now the family is headed for a party given by Rickys family. Converging from different parts of the compass we will meet at the hotel where the party is being held. It will be fast and furious as we travel today, party tomorrow and head back on Sunday with Goli in tow. If I look back a year I see myself sick and at the end of my proverbial rope. My knee and hip joint messed up and flaming with pain. This year thanks to the surgery and the shots in my joints I am new, reborn invigorated and waiting to dance at La Fiesta! Without exaggeration I feel the best I have in thirty years and that is a very long time. With VSL#3 containing my acute IBS, Prilosec OTC, I have a new spring in my step. A miracle was wrought and this Rosh Hashona I gave extra thanks, dues and praise.
So I sit waiting and hoping the storms skipping around will not delay us further. After months of severe drought we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, no cool front yet but we are just a few weeks away from a break. When we get back Goli will get a day at the beach. The bugs and mosquitos are back with a vengeance so as usual it's the good with the bad.
Santa Fe, New Mexico
We caught the new train from ABQ airport, the Road Runner, a meep meep sound as the door closes from stop to stop looses it's cuteness after the sixth stop. It was that way in London with "mind the step", as one accesses and egress from the trains. Margo and Ricky picked us up and transported us to the hotel. We dined at a great restaurant on true New Mex food. I had green, Barry had Christmas (green and red) salsa. I think he had Carne Asado rich and redolent but surely cooked with cinnamon. I had an enchalada y pollo and rice. Rickys sister Carmella is running to the airport to pick up Goli and Adam. Barry and I want to go dancing and we are trying to see who wants to continue the party. When we get back to the hotel, in the lobby are A.J., Goli, Mel, and her friend Melissa, they are wolfing down McDonalds to my chagrin. After chatting all around I realize that there will be no dancing tonight I have just hit the wall and no one else salutes that flag.
Saturday, September 12
We spent the morning watching the pet parade a yearly event on this weekend of burning the Zozobra. Costumed Children and their pets with parents costumed or not parade down the main street. There have been dogs, cats, rabbits, chickens a horse and ferrets. We all got very involved with some dog poop left to languish right in the middle of the parade route trying to warn off the unwary and comiserating with a few who ventured in. Eventually a gent with a plastic bag ventured over and spoiled the rather sadisitc fun we were all having with the poop. I voulnteered a peice of paper to cover the remains and Goli annointed it. Craig was clicking away with his camera so there may even be photo evidence of this "accident", on record. All in all this incident was the most entertaining of the whole parade cute outfits or not. The crowds are thick and festive and we are being carried along. Nine of us try to stick together and after ebbing and flowing in and out of stores, boutiques and galleries we split up with a plan to meet later at the sister hotel of ours in town. Barry and I wander around window shopping he has an eye for a new Bolero but the ones here are just too dear and I know we can get them in Mexico for less. I hate playing tourist, it's even more surreal when we find that most of the shop keeps are Middle Eastern, with few locals. Most of the new owners are from the New York metropolitan area. We are no longer a village but a global community. There is an unpleasant moment when one shop keeper refuses to tell me the price of a Jewish star (Mogen David) I have in mind for Rossana, he intimates that he won't tell me or sell to me because "Jews" are too cheap to pay. Yeah well, I won't even go there...
After that I am not interested in shopping for anything and we find a nice cafe for lunch. Taking the hotel jitney back, after Goli literally crowns herself on the door of the minibus we all split up to rest and get our best bib and tucker on for the evening.
The air has been crisp and clean with a wonderful sweet scent although high up in the mountains and a little thin, it is such a rare treat for us, Craig can't get enough after the stifling heat and oppressive nature of the air in Brownsville. We have been wearing long sleeves and the evening air is a bit nippy. The big outdoor fireplace has been glowing with coals and sends out the crisp autumn scent I have missed all these years. The last time we were in Colonial Williamsburg for Thanksgiving it was too warm for the braziers and fireplaces, the first year we went was truly cold and the bonfire was lit the town glowed and crackled.
The ball room is full of people, and as last year I marvel at my family how handsome and beautiful they all are. My dress is purple really purple and I have great new shoes on that fit like a glove. They are my new favorites, and as I dance on them later I realize they are now my new dance shoes as well, thank you Steinmart for all. Margo as usual has found a dress so Marilyn Monroe and fifties, a white top black under the bust line down with a cute black bolero jacket, I have loaned her my black and silver suite although she does not wear the matching earings a bit much for her. Ricky wears a lovely tailored suit, and my boys are smart in their suites and ties very dapper really, like my dad honestly. Goli is wearing a mod tiny floaty handkerchief thing that had to have cost a bomb as it molds to her in silk it hugs her curvy frame and she wears her sky scraper shoes. When you aren't even five feet, even with four inch heals your at a disadvantage. Barry looks so handsome in his starched silk black shirt shot with silver, black tie and suit. We really should play dress up more often. The single girls go crazy for his suspenders later when he removes his jacket in the heat while we dance. It's cute really although I think someone tried to pick him up ahem... It must have been quite a shock when he stated he was Margo's step dad. Mel and Carmen look lovely and chic, they do their best to introduce us around we are easily one hundred and fifty people. After a little bit Barry and I begin to introduce ourselves to everyone at the tables. Having gone around the room we relax a bit more. I am able to observe Margo and Ricky with his family and friends. Rickys father and his family, his mothers family, his Aunts and Grandmother are all dolls and it really does feel like family to me. His cousin made all of the beautiful corsages and boutineers, and an Aunt put together the elegant flower centerpieces adorning the tables and dais table.
Once dinner is over we file into a line and do "La Danca" kind of like a Rhumba line and Hora combined into one. Ricky's great Aunt is at the head and I am not sure who brings up the rear as the line is two rooms long. After I think six or seven passes we do an under the arms tent kind of thing, it is hot I mean hot and we are all soon soaked with sweat. The air conditiong is not functioning. A first dance is done with the bride and groom but Ricky has put his foot down no more wedding stuff, and so no ceremonial cake cutting, or champagne toasts. Rick is a shy man and he has hit his good nature'd limit for this kind of limelight. Outside in the wide foyer a huge group of people have gathered and are buying drinks at the portable bar. Word has spread that Rick is in town and all of his friends have come to have a drink and visit with their old friend. Those who were not invited to the more formal party are as numerous as those in the ballroom and it is a mob. I try to meet as many as I can outside the room and visit with these young people devoted to Ricky. It is a testament to my son-in-love that so many people have turned out to see him.
Dancing and enjoying the music and the excentric D.J. We are all on the dance floor Ira and his wife, the kids, B and myself Goli and Adam, Carmen, Mel, Melissa, Aunts, Uncles, the only hold out is Craig, I am working on him yet. Barry and I have sussed out the Salsa party being held downstairs and spread the word around the crowd that after the formal party ends at ten we should go down to the Latin dance party.
We find ourselves alone downstairs and I try to get our group together, but have no success so B and I dance and watch the Santa Fe latin dance crowd. The rest of the party is in the upstairs bar enjoying more drinks and family visiting, the kids have stashed plenty of beer in their suite as the cost of open bar and all night drinking can be a bomb. After we leave about 12:30 Margo tells me they all snuck in but didn't see us. It was a fun night and we really appreciated all the love and attention Mel and Carmen put into that party, and the whole weekend. We loved Santa Fe and would love to go back and connect with the Martinez and Casados family.
to be continued;
Wednesday was 09-09-2009, I'm not sure of the ramifications, number permutations et all, but it was on the whole a good day. I was able to get through a 30 min. Zumba tape without tripping over my self too much these last two days. The weight has stopped coming off and I am at a plateau, I need too firm up all the flesh that seems to be left. I tried on a few of my old dresses and pants and they are comically grande, xtra big on me, yet when I see pictures of myself I do not see any changes I seem to look as fat and tum tummy as ever! The proof is on the scales, and cloths sizes but not on film or my mind...
Rossana and I were invited to a special event in Matamoros for La Mesa Redonda Panamericana. It was the new officers induction, and our friend Victoria is on the incoming board. Victoria is a marvelous elegant multi-talented woman. Fastidious and trim, her ballet training is visible as well as the horsewoman posture and demeanor. She is a dentist par excellence, her dental spa with its pure oxygen filled room, special lighting, and two lasers have sold me on her high tech all natural approach. Victoria is very involved in the cultural center of her community and is on the forefront of promoting healthy living and lifestyle. No easy task in Mexico.
It is wonderful to be invited to such an August group, Rossana and I have to plan our outfits. Here in Brownsville it is very casual and with my large weight loss, cloths are a big issue right now. My better cloths are at a bare minimum, but I do have one pair of pant, if hidden by a longer jacket I can pin at my waist. I also have a box jacket sequined in an animal print, that will allow me to do this, so, I have it covered. We cross the border looking elegant and fitting the occasion. Rossana, in a black dress and ruby red silk jacket and thin red belt, looks like a jewel with the red set we pull from the jewelry collection. As usual the dynamic duo is early, the invitation says four we learn it is really slated for five. Having a very expensive lemonade at the hotel restaurant we bide our time as other elegant ladies arrive and also have coffee etc. Slowly woman from all over the valley trickle in, as well as those whose chapter is in Mexico. The Mayors mother as well as other VIP wives are so noted, and we are asked if we are VIPS. Well, no I guess we are only two nice ladies from Brownsville, rather ordinary in some way but very very special in others. Oh and the funny uncanny question comes up again are you sisters?
Vicky is part of the master of ceremonies duo so she is furiously working out the details with her other half and can not visit with us before hand. Seated at our table we watch the proceedings take shape and meet our fellow table mate. Victoria, has a wonderful speaking voice and is a terrific singer and performer this is a natural for her. A local high school color guard files in as well as the high school Mariachi band, they await the invocation to present the flag and play the National Anthem. I have heard it before at the beginning of soccer matches this is the first time it is so intimate. It really is very striking with the flags being presented and the band playing. Once started the ceremonies are formal and quite a bit different than ours. We seem so informal in comparison. Several times during the proceedings and speeches they repeat their motto in English "One for all, and all for one." As I recall Alexander Dumas coined the phrase for his Three Musketeers series. An interesting choice. As I understand it the lady who spearheaded this organization was from Texas with roots deep in Mexico. Among other things they sponsor full scholarships and this year there will be six.
The young woman on my left at the table is also a guest of Victoria, she and her husband own a "stamp" business. In Mexico an employer can give their employees bonuses and raises by way of purchasing stamps. These stamps are good at any grocery store, tax free to both the employee and employer. A very novel way of raising the standard of living.
Liquid Spanish flows and washes over me. I have stopped trying to self translate and just enjoy the sound. I have the luxury of observing the process, and the assembled ladies. Eventually a dinner of Mexican Meatloaf is served with bread and potatoes. I had been smelling the enticing aroma of Jalapeno peppers only to find the pickled variety on the table. Unlike Rossana who hates pickles and loves the pickled pepper, I love pickles and loath the pickled pepper. I eat at least one cooked or raw pepper a day. I swear it kicks my metabolic rate into high gear. The older traditional (eating) woman of the valley are slim, spry and very vital, it is only the succeeding generations that are so heavy and out of shape. It is the American diet of fast foods that have corrupted the traditional Mexican diet that is so close to the Mediterranean one.
It is dark and we are seconds away from the border, at this time of the evening crossing is a snap. I felt though that I had been decades away, while in Brownsville I am in the 21st century. It is when I cross the border I am transported back to an earlier more formal yet more leasurly time. The civility I find across the border is so pronounced, it feels like we are heathens and lunatics in comparison. Our collective ancestors, parents and grands are twisting and turning with appall at our new cultural icons and morays. We as a nation have been in a steady decline in so many ways, until now a thin thread of civility has kept us from being the proverbial Huns. This summer the veneer was stripped and we as a people have become nothing less than bores and truly the ugly American of repute. I am a relic. Without civility and manners we as a Nation are doomed as the Romans doomed themselves with excess, complacency and the attitude of superiority, and divine right. History always repeats it's self, where are the Egyptians, Spanish? What of modern British society, my daughter tells me, they are drunkards who have lost all civility, and culture. We fail utterly once we forget how to be kind, humane, courteous. The utter deceit and theft of whole truth (s) condemns us to a rapid decline and mediocrity as a people and a nation. Ethics, civility, and fidelity are dead words in our culture, it has become a very cruel world.
Here they shake hands, and everyone receives a kiss. Children greet/part with you, with a handshake and a clear eyed acknowledgment. Greetings are voiced, as are formal goodbyes given in the same way as the salutation. For a moment you are connected and welcomed in. Your parting means something. When someone passes by they acknowledge you and murmur Con Permiso, eye contact. Good afternoon/evening, charming, consistent, warmth. It survives here and reminds me of my childhood, the lessons of yes 'mam and sir. It is not all butterscotch and whipped cream. I find the disconnect here as well, but people are on a whole courteous. We need to work on the littering and disregard for property and my pet peeve replacing the shopping carts to the holders here, but by g-d people are nice and helpful. It is the little touches though that are charming. I am drawn to the culture, food and way of life. I would happily retire to Mexico given the chance, I hope that they can work out the vast problems of a poor nation, and take back the regions that are bedeviled by the drug cartels here. The Mexican people truly deserve better and a Fence is not the answer.
Did I mention once again I am writing at an airport awaiting our delayed plane for Albuquerque, I seem to do my best writing on the fly.
"Que' Viva," is taking us to New Mexico, Santa Fe. Nearly a year ago Margo and Ricky were married in Brooklyn N.Y. Now the family is headed for a party given by Rickys family. Converging from different parts of the compass we will meet at the hotel where the party is being held. It will be fast and furious as we travel today, party tomorrow and head back on Sunday with Goli in tow. If I look back a year I see myself sick and at the end of my proverbial rope. My knee and hip joint messed up and flaming with pain. This year thanks to the surgery and the shots in my joints I am new, reborn invigorated and waiting to dance at La Fiesta! Without exaggeration I feel the best I have in thirty years and that is a very long time. With VSL#3 containing my acute IBS, Prilosec OTC, I have a new spring in my step. A miracle was wrought and this Rosh Hashona I gave extra thanks, dues and praise.
So I sit waiting and hoping the storms skipping around will not delay us further. After months of severe drought we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, no cool front yet but we are just a few weeks away from a break. When we get back Goli will get a day at the beach. The bugs and mosquitos are back with a vengeance so as usual it's the good with the bad.
Santa Fe, New Mexico
We caught the new train from ABQ airport, the Road Runner, a meep meep sound as the door closes from stop to stop looses it's cuteness after the sixth stop. It was that way in London with "mind the step", as one accesses and egress from the trains. Margo and Ricky picked us up and transported us to the hotel. We dined at a great restaurant on true New Mex food. I had green, Barry had Christmas (green and red) salsa. I think he had Carne Asado rich and redolent but surely cooked with cinnamon. I had an enchalada y pollo and rice. Rickys sister Carmella is running to the airport to pick up Goli and Adam. Barry and I want to go dancing and we are trying to see who wants to continue the party. When we get back to the hotel, in the lobby are A.J., Goli, Mel, and her friend Melissa, they are wolfing down McDonalds to my chagrin. After chatting all around I realize that there will be no dancing tonight I have just hit the wall and no one else salutes that flag.
Saturday, September 12
We spent the morning watching the pet parade a yearly event on this weekend of burning the Zozobra. Costumed Children and their pets with parents costumed or not parade down the main street. There have been dogs, cats, rabbits, chickens a horse and ferrets. We all got very involved with some dog poop left to languish right in the middle of the parade route trying to warn off the unwary and comiserating with a few who ventured in. Eventually a gent with a plastic bag ventured over and spoiled the rather sadisitc fun we were all having with the poop. I voulnteered a peice of paper to cover the remains and Goli annointed it. Craig was clicking away with his camera so there may even be photo evidence of this "accident", on record. All in all this incident was the most entertaining of the whole parade cute outfits or not. The crowds are thick and festive and we are being carried along. Nine of us try to stick together and after ebbing and flowing in and out of stores, boutiques and galleries we split up with a plan to meet later at the sister hotel of ours in town. Barry and I wander around window shopping he has an eye for a new Bolero but the ones here are just too dear and I know we can get them in Mexico for less. I hate playing tourist, it's even more surreal when we find that most of the shop keeps are Middle Eastern, with few locals. Most of the new owners are from the New York metropolitan area. We are no longer a village but a global community. There is an unpleasant moment when one shop keeper refuses to tell me the price of a Jewish star (Mogen David) I have in mind for Rossana, he intimates that he won't tell me or sell to me because "Jews" are too cheap to pay. Yeah well, I won't even go there...
After that I am not interested in shopping for anything and we find a nice cafe for lunch. Taking the hotel jitney back, after Goli literally crowns herself on the door of the minibus we all split up to rest and get our best bib and tucker on for the evening.
The air has been crisp and clean with a wonderful sweet scent although high up in the mountains and a little thin, it is such a rare treat for us, Craig can't get enough after the stifling heat and oppressive nature of the air in Brownsville. We have been wearing long sleeves and the evening air is a bit nippy. The big outdoor fireplace has been glowing with coals and sends out the crisp autumn scent I have missed all these years. The last time we were in Colonial Williamsburg for Thanksgiving it was too warm for the braziers and fireplaces, the first year we went was truly cold and the bonfire was lit the town glowed and crackled.
The ball room is full of people, and as last year I marvel at my family how handsome and beautiful they all are. My dress is purple really purple and I have great new shoes on that fit like a glove. They are my new favorites, and as I dance on them later I realize they are now my new dance shoes as well, thank you Steinmart for all. Margo as usual has found a dress so Marilyn Monroe and fifties, a white top black under the bust line down with a cute black bolero jacket, I have loaned her my black and silver suite although she does not wear the matching earings a bit much for her. Ricky wears a lovely tailored suit, and my boys are smart in their suites and ties very dapper really, like my dad honestly. Goli is wearing a mod tiny floaty handkerchief thing that had to have cost a bomb as it molds to her in silk it hugs her curvy frame and she wears her sky scraper shoes. When you aren't even five feet, even with four inch heals your at a disadvantage. Barry looks so handsome in his starched silk black shirt shot with silver, black tie and suit. We really should play dress up more often. The single girls go crazy for his suspenders later when he removes his jacket in the heat while we dance. It's cute really although I think someone tried to pick him up ahem... It must have been quite a shock when he stated he was Margo's step dad. Mel and Carmen look lovely and chic, they do their best to introduce us around we are easily one hundred and fifty people. After a little bit Barry and I begin to introduce ourselves to everyone at the tables. Having gone around the room we relax a bit more. I am able to observe Margo and Ricky with his family and friends. Rickys father and his family, his mothers family, his Aunts and Grandmother are all dolls and it really does feel like family to me. His cousin made all of the beautiful corsages and boutineers, and an Aunt put together the elegant flower centerpieces adorning the tables and dais table.
Once dinner is over we file into a line and do "La Danca" kind of like a Rhumba line and Hora combined into one. Ricky's great Aunt is at the head and I am not sure who brings up the rear as the line is two rooms long. After I think six or seven passes we do an under the arms tent kind of thing, it is hot I mean hot and we are all soon soaked with sweat. The air conditiong is not functioning. A first dance is done with the bride and groom but Ricky has put his foot down no more wedding stuff, and so no ceremonial cake cutting, or champagne toasts. Rick is a shy man and he has hit his good nature'd limit for this kind of limelight. Outside in the wide foyer a huge group of people have gathered and are buying drinks at the portable bar. Word has spread that Rick is in town and all of his friends have come to have a drink and visit with their old friend. Those who were not invited to the more formal party are as numerous as those in the ballroom and it is a mob. I try to meet as many as I can outside the room and visit with these young people devoted to Ricky. It is a testament to my son-in-love that so many people have turned out to see him.
Dancing and enjoying the music and the excentric D.J. We are all on the dance floor Ira and his wife, the kids, B and myself Goli and Adam, Carmen, Mel, Melissa, Aunts, Uncles, the only hold out is Craig, I am working on him yet. Barry and I have sussed out the Salsa party being held downstairs and spread the word around the crowd that after the formal party ends at ten we should go down to the Latin dance party.
We find ourselves alone downstairs and I try to get our group together, but have no success so B and I dance and watch the Santa Fe latin dance crowd. The rest of the party is in the upstairs bar enjoying more drinks and family visiting, the kids have stashed plenty of beer in their suite as the cost of open bar and all night drinking can be a bomb. After we leave about 12:30 Margo tells me they all snuck in but didn't see us. It was a fun night and we really appreciated all the love and attention Mel and Carmen put into that party, and the whole weekend. We loved Santa Fe and would love to go back and connect with the Martinez and Casados family.
to be continued;
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I to my fortune...
"And me they left with those of Epidamnum.
What then became of them, I cannot tell;
I to this fortune you see me in."
According to my bog it's been eight months since I last wrote. Wow eight months, a lot has happened and yet very little has changed. Adam and Goli's townhouse is done and they will be moving in any day now, Margo and Rick have been to Italy, and are heading to Spain this weekend and had another visit to Paris not that long ago. Craig, is no longer in Miami but starting his third week here in the Valley although a bit under the weather he is getting along.
I had surgery in February after years of not taking care of a seriously deteriorating condition we finally made the trip to Houston and I spent a week in the hospital. The tests I took were exhaustive and exhausting, but the results showed I have a strong healthy heart and no other red flags. When the surgery was done we headed home for a long and slow recovery, it was all worth it.
This health care debate is very near and dear to my heart. When I was divorced I lost health-care and frankly what I could get was ridiculously expensive and had so many existing condition clauses it was full of Swiss cheese. I finally had to let it go all together and pay out of pocket for a D&C and two lumpectomies that nearly wiped me out financially. Now that I am on Barry's plan I am making up for a decade of neglect and even had my first Dental checkup in nearly seven years. It is a sham and a crying shame that I and others like me had to suffer for untold years for lack of health coverage. Craig is now in that boat and still they say we are moving too fast, I'll tell you what let's take away all your bennies and see how fast you have to move with a sick child or spouse. Five months later and the bills are still rolling in and even with good coverage we are about the 3-4 thousand mark out of pocket for my surgery. Boy I do need my soapbox from time to time eh?
I also discovered through a very persistent friend a near cure to my IBS. I have been suffering for over thirty years with a progressively debilitating form of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Well VSL#3 from the Mayo clinic has turned that around and I can say I am 97-100% cured. It is in a word a miracle. It works for IBS, Colitis, and Pouchitis. I sing it's praises and now take it every other day. Believe me I tried everything and anything spent thousands of dollars and this works.
Just after mother's day as a gift from Adam and Goli, I spent time with them at Sholeh's and enjoyed the break from Brownsville. We had a great time and I should have stayed longer but then poor Barry just doesn't know when to come home, and eat when I am gone. I do love the D.C. area, but didn't get out and see my other friends so next time I will do some dancing and visiting. Hey it is such a SMALL world. Jean-Marie graduated Temple U. Law school and Goli and I drove up to surprise them. Sitting in the Theatre I see a face so familiar right in front of me and boom I realise it is one of my dance friends from D.C. Her daughter became an over night dance sensation in the Hustle world, and it was Erika's graduation from Law School. Again Congratulations are due to a very pregnant Jean-Marie, lot's of luck to the upcoming licence boards. Goli and I enjoyed the dinner and connecting with the Dunn/Kane family.
While up in the wilds of the gorgeous North we went back to a favorite stomping ground of mine, Longwood Gardens. Talk about sensory over load! Lush lush lush. We met my former husband and his new, new wife of a few weeks Leeanna. This is Ira's third and I hope a happy marriage. It was awkward to say the least after the second wife debacle and her treatment of my kids. It was a wonderful warm sunny Sunday, and I think we all enjoyed the gardens. My life tends toward the dramatic without any direct drama from me. It does keep it interesting though. Hilarious often...
The wind is howling today the temps are about 97 degrees without the heat index so it's about 100+, and not a spot of rain or moisture. Wild fires have been burning in some of the surrounding counties and it doesn't look like any rain for the next two and a half weeks at least. I lost the French lavender and the new Jade plants. Nothing can thrive here but cactus in this drought. I guess I could zero scape but gosh I do need the green around me. When I was up in D.C./VA it was so lush so overly abundant with flowers blooming and so many shades of green. I couldn't get enough it was as if my heart was filling up with all that I have been missing in the last few years. I wouldn't be adverse to becoming a part timer up North again, but not in the winter uh uh, no.
When we first moved down I was going ape s---, cause I was bored. I went into a little beading shop and they didn't speak any English, yet I knew I wanted to learn, so a few months ago I dragged Rossana into another shop she remembered downtown. We took a lesson (translated for me) made a necklace and earrings and I have been at it ever since. It has been my intention to find SOMETHING I could do to make money and work from home. I am not technologically savvy so it had to be either with my head or hands, BINGO! I am delighted and a bit taken aback that I am now creating and making really beautiful high end costume jewelry. My sister Pam was always the crafty one, with her ability to sew, knit, crochet, really super beautiful stuff. I did do quilts many years ago and was quiet good but didn't keep up with it. Now zoom I am in love and obsessed. It is a very expensive obsession, so I need to start selling soon. I have very high hopes I can finally realize a source of financial stability for myself that doesn't rely on the great physical strength that has served me so well most of my life. I am limited to some of that physicality now yet I am healthier and stronger than I have been in a number of years, since the surgery. I am draging Rossana into the buisness so she can help me make my creations the name RoMi seems a good fit.
So many things to say about life (here) so many observations that I should have doccumented and that are gone now, I need to do this on a more regular basis if not for you than just for me. More stories to tell about the past and the players who are no longer on stage with us, before they are not even memories.
"I hope I shall have leisure to make good,
If this not be a dream I see and hear." Shakespeare's The Comedy of Erros
What then became of them, I cannot tell;
I to this fortune you see me in."
According to my bog it's been eight months since I last wrote. Wow eight months, a lot has happened and yet very little has changed. Adam and Goli's townhouse is done and they will be moving in any day now, Margo and Rick have been to Italy, and are heading to Spain this weekend and had another visit to Paris not that long ago. Craig, is no longer in Miami but starting his third week here in the Valley although a bit under the weather he is getting along.
I had surgery in February after years of not taking care of a seriously deteriorating condition we finally made the trip to Houston and I spent a week in the hospital. The tests I took were exhaustive and exhausting, but the results showed I have a strong healthy heart and no other red flags. When the surgery was done we headed home for a long and slow recovery, it was all worth it.
This health care debate is very near and dear to my heart. When I was divorced I lost health-care and frankly what I could get was ridiculously expensive and had so many existing condition clauses it was full of Swiss cheese. I finally had to let it go all together and pay out of pocket for a D&C and two lumpectomies that nearly wiped me out financially. Now that I am on Barry's plan I am making up for a decade of neglect and even had my first Dental checkup in nearly seven years. It is a sham and a crying shame that I and others like me had to suffer for untold years for lack of health coverage. Craig is now in that boat and still they say we are moving too fast, I'll tell you what let's take away all your bennies and see how fast you have to move with a sick child or spouse. Five months later and the bills are still rolling in and even with good coverage we are about the 3-4 thousand mark out of pocket for my surgery. Boy I do need my soapbox from time to time eh?
I also discovered through a very persistent friend a near cure to my IBS. I have been suffering for over thirty years with a progressively debilitating form of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Well VSL#3 from the Mayo clinic has turned that around and I can say I am 97-100% cured. It is in a word a miracle. It works for IBS, Colitis, and Pouchitis. I sing it's praises and now take it every other day. Believe me I tried everything and anything spent thousands of dollars and this works.
Just after mother's day as a gift from Adam and Goli, I spent time with them at Sholeh's and enjoyed the break from Brownsville. We had a great time and I should have stayed longer but then poor Barry just doesn't know when to come home, and eat when I am gone. I do love the D.C. area, but didn't get out and see my other friends so next time I will do some dancing and visiting. Hey it is such a SMALL world. Jean-Marie graduated Temple U. Law school and Goli and I drove up to surprise them. Sitting in the Theatre I see a face so familiar right in front of me and boom I realise it is one of my dance friends from D.C. Her daughter became an over night dance sensation in the Hustle world, and it was Erika's graduation from Law School. Again Congratulations are due to a very pregnant Jean-Marie, lot's of luck to the upcoming licence boards. Goli and I enjoyed the dinner and connecting with the Dunn/Kane family.
While up in the wilds of the gorgeous North we went back to a favorite stomping ground of mine, Longwood Gardens. Talk about sensory over load! Lush lush lush. We met my former husband and his new, new wife of a few weeks Leeanna. This is Ira's third and I hope a happy marriage. It was awkward to say the least after the second wife debacle and her treatment of my kids. It was a wonderful warm sunny Sunday, and I think we all enjoyed the gardens. My life tends toward the dramatic without any direct drama from me. It does keep it interesting though. Hilarious often...
The wind is howling today the temps are about 97 degrees without the heat index so it's about 100+, and not a spot of rain or moisture. Wild fires have been burning in some of the surrounding counties and it doesn't look like any rain for the next two and a half weeks at least. I lost the French lavender and the new Jade plants. Nothing can thrive here but cactus in this drought. I guess I could zero scape but gosh I do need the green around me. When I was up in D.C./VA it was so lush so overly abundant with flowers blooming and so many shades of green. I couldn't get enough it was as if my heart was filling up with all that I have been missing in the last few years. I wouldn't be adverse to becoming a part timer up North again, but not in the winter uh uh, no.
When we first moved down I was going ape s---, cause I was bored. I went into a little beading shop and they didn't speak any English, yet I knew I wanted to learn, so a few months ago I dragged Rossana into another shop she remembered downtown. We took a lesson (translated for me) made a necklace and earrings and I have been at it ever since. It has been my intention to find SOMETHING I could do to make money and work from home. I am not technologically savvy so it had to be either with my head or hands, BINGO! I am delighted and a bit taken aback that I am now creating and making really beautiful high end costume jewelry. My sister Pam was always the crafty one, with her ability to sew, knit, crochet, really super beautiful stuff. I did do quilts many years ago and was quiet good but didn't keep up with it. Now zoom I am in love and obsessed. It is a very expensive obsession, so I need to start selling soon. I have very high hopes I can finally realize a source of financial stability for myself that doesn't rely on the great physical strength that has served me so well most of my life. I am limited to some of that physicality now yet I am healthier and stronger than I have been in a number of years, since the surgery. I am draging Rossana into the buisness so she can help me make my creations the name RoMi seems a good fit.
So many things to say about life (here) so many observations that I should have doccumented and that are gone now, I need to do this on a more regular basis if not for you than just for me. More stories to tell about the past and the players who are no longer on stage with us, before they are not even memories.
"I hope I shall have leisure to make good,
If this not be a dream I see and hear." Shakespeare's The Comedy of Erros
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Anniversary in a Thumbnail
"The difference between a comedy and a tragedy is that in comedy the characters figure out reality in time to do something about it." Bennett W. Goodspeed
It's election day 2008. This election will be a mile stone in so many ways. My first election was during the Viet Nam war, I had registered the day I turned eighteen. If I remember correctly it was 1970, Oct.16. I had convinced my then boy friend Steven Kellman to register and then go and donate blood with me. It was some kind of rite of passage for me, and I thought it would be a nice bonding process as well. Poor Steven was forced to give up a pint. Both of us felt very fuzzy afterward and we ended up just hanging out for the rest of the day. I can't tell you the sense of pride and ownership that gave me, and one month later I exercised my right to vote. To me then, it was going to be the election and decision of a lifetime, I didn't envision today, this scenario. I never thought I would have had to send one of MY children or anyone elses for that matter into war again. In those days after protesting the war, voicing my concerns about the earth (Earth day). It was just my naivete that this was over and not to be revisited.
So I will get ready soon to line up again as I do every four years and put my stamp on history as well as honor all my past and present family members who fought to come here, who fought to protect our country, and who also with clear consciences walked the line to the polls. Five generations and counting now...
Well this is our one year in Brownsville anniversary. In the words of Barry's boss Nizzette, Brownsville is not that bad. It is nearly a year ago that I began this blog, out of sheer desperation and boredom. Boredom with a big B. We arrived Nov.10 after a grueling three days on the road with two cars, and as you recall with two howling cats and our few precious things as everything else went into storage. I didn't even have a bra, at the last minute we shipped our luggage and it didn't show up for a week and a half. I had a sports bra, sandals, a change of top and a sweat suit. Brownsville, was barren, brown and looked unpromising from my exhausted stressed prospective. We drove around a little got our bearings and shopped for food. We also visited the Island after raiding Dillards first thing Sunday morning for a few staples of cloths. It was windy and a little raw and the waves were rough and all I could do was gaze through the hazy mist and think straight across is Florida if I just head over and keep going I'd hit Naples? San Marco Island? Ya gotta let go of that though and take on the adventure, and know really know that this will be great, just another layer of living.
It's rained quite a bit this year so the area has remained green, flowers are still blooming and the WIND has not yet begun. Hopefully this will be a more normal year and it won't be howling constantly like last season. We love our new home it is a dream, with towering ceilings each a different Tray pattern with beautiful moldings all over. Huge shiny Porcelain floors, fabulous woodwork everywhere and great big picture windows. The pool we put in is just perfect. Truthfully, I was really reluctant to spend the doe re mi, but after it was all done with a tremendous amount of strum and angst, one day I turned in the kitchen and saw Barry happily, really, happily paddling around in it. His year has been hellish, and he has been uber stressed. I just couldn't hold onto to my money squandering fears in sight of such pure delight on the part of my beloved. He has destresed and detoxed in and around the pool, although it's been open such a short part of the season. It was funny to watch him Sunday in the 72' degree water. Don't forget we've got tropic blood now, he was nearly blue when he came out.
I had a Haddasah tea here the Sunday after Margo's wedding. I had out all my beautiful china tea sets and my silver. I hadn't done this in a very long time. We fixed lots of cute sandwiches, I baked scones, cookies, shortbread and pound cake. Rossana made her cucumber sandwiches, I made egg salad, tiny crackers with home made hummos and cilantro, and Kurisit sandwiches. The house looked smashing and the cats were confined to the den with the T.V. on for company. The ladies arrive, Elka starts the presentation... remember I mentioned the great big picture windows? Now we have a great big view of Barry in his bathing suite laying down on the chaise, walking back and forth cleaning the pool and doing what ever, with his great body like the cabana pool boy. All these old ladies are mesmerized by the sight of my honey "relaxing" by the pool. Forget my beautiful china, the house, the hit of the "tea" was Barry and his fab. bod.
The biggest part of our adventurous move way down in the Rio Grande Valley was the momentous meeting of the Bogorads. Geoff and Rossana are our brother and sister in so many ways. They adopted us, saved my sanity and brought a kind of friendship for me that I have never had, nor expect to have again. To say that Rossana and I look nothing alike is an understatement, not to mention my New York accent and her Cordobian Spanish accent, yet everyone who meets us thinks we are sisters and refers to us as so. It is true enough in the sense that we are Soul Mates. Funny really, how astonishing a relationship. Danielle, and Joseph are my surrogate children, nephew niece. Poor kids I give them the "talks" when they need them as if they were my own. Yet they indulge my need to mother, and we have a bond I think that is very special.
So as I always say it was Beshert, coming here where names like Tipotex, pay homage to where we lie on the map. Where a Sheriff in Jail for taking bribes in dealing with the border can run unopposed from his Jail cell, and people will STILL vote for him cause they like him and he's a good Sheriff. One Judge said he isn't the first and won't be the last as he lists all the other crooked politicians and public servants who've done jail time. Hey look this is the state that gave us the Idiot Bush, enough said.
We've been to the little local theatre for a few plays, attended some great live music at the funky art gallery 409, manned a table at the Boo at the Zoo last Thursday, gone to a few festivals at the beach and made a few friends. As always Barry and I love to entertain and we've had a few dinners and parties. We hope to get a group together for a dance night either here or at some venue. I need to get some Karaoke music for B's machine and do a night maybe with dancing. Lately we've been renting funky foreign films and watching it on our huge flat screen in the den. I am enjoying that very much and look forward to our next odd ball pick. Rossana as always is my partner in crime.
"Language shapes consciousness, and the use of language to shape consciousness is an important branch of magic." Starhawk, Dreaming the Dark
We cross over the border with regularity, and this is probably my most favorite activity of all. I am astonished how much I enjoy Mexico and the Mexican culture and people. Yes, food is always a motivating factor in my life and the food there has been great, but it goes beyond my stomach as it were. Here the people are sincere, polite and interested in talking to you. Yes, yes there are thieves and the poor and the near subsistence part of Mexico mixed in, but the spirit of the people is very fetching to me. I have come to admire the work ethic, community and close family ties. It is also harder to make friends as an Anglo or outsider but not impossible.
My Spanish is lagging along, although my vocabulary gets bigger each day I still am unable to make my self intelligible. Hilda comes once a month to clean she is a g-d send as these floors although beautiful are a lot of work with the cats. From the time she arrives she speaks to me full tilt with every hope that I understand her fully and that we are having a conversation. Often I do understand and can somewhat comport my self but often I run to the phone and Rossana for a clear interpretation. This amuses Hilda no end and each month I suspect she tests my mettle with more in depth conversations. She loves Pablo bless her and lets him do his crazy while she cleans, I often hear her laughing or quietly admonishing him. He totally responds to her and I think the key here is I need to speak to him in Spanish. He has become such an integral part of our little family. His misdemeanors are often hysterical and we fight hard to rebuke him. Piper is showing his age, he is very lean although he eats heartily his bones show a bit. Arthritis is slowing him down, and when Pablo wrestles him you can see how Pablo takes great care to not really rough Piper up. He kind of play tags and wrestles his old friend. Callie is just the sweetest, no words to describe my little girl. Pablo drives her crazy with his games of hide and seek, tag. Once in awhile she will super discipline him, but mostly she yells plaintively at him. She is so aggrieved at his sport it is funny, and again we have to work up a need to admonish him.
We are certainly not experiencing life in the fast lane here, but I have to say I am enjoying it. So yes Nizzette Brownsville is not so bad.
"Motion or change and identity or rest are the first and second secrets of nature: Motion and Rest. The whole code of her laws may be written on the thumbnail." Emerson
It's election day 2008. This election will be a mile stone in so many ways. My first election was during the Viet Nam war, I had registered the day I turned eighteen. If I remember correctly it was 1970, Oct.16. I had convinced my then boy friend Steven Kellman to register and then go and donate blood with me. It was some kind of rite of passage for me, and I thought it would be a nice bonding process as well. Poor Steven was forced to give up a pint. Both of us felt very fuzzy afterward and we ended up just hanging out for the rest of the day. I can't tell you the sense of pride and ownership that gave me, and one month later I exercised my right to vote. To me then, it was going to be the election and decision of a lifetime, I didn't envision today, this scenario. I never thought I would have had to send one of MY children or anyone elses for that matter into war again. In those days after protesting the war, voicing my concerns about the earth (Earth day). It was just my naivete that this was over and not to be revisited.
So I will get ready soon to line up again as I do every four years and put my stamp on history as well as honor all my past and present family members who fought to come here, who fought to protect our country, and who also with clear consciences walked the line to the polls. Five generations and counting now...
Well this is our one year in Brownsville anniversary. In the words of Barry's boss Nizzette, Brownsville is not that bad. It is nearly a year ago that I began this blog, out of sheer desperation and boredom. Boredom with a big B. We arrived Nov.10 after a grueling three days on the road with two cars, and as you recall with two howling cats and our few precious things as everything else went into storage. I didn't even have a bra, at the last minute we shipped our luggage and it didn't show up for a week and a half. I had a sports bra, sandals, a change of top and a sweat suit. Brownsville, was barren, brown and looked unpromising from my exhausted stressed prospective. We drove around a little got our bearings and shopped for food. We also visited the Island after raiding Dillards first thing Sunday morning for a few staples of cloths. It was windy and a little raw and the waves were rough and all I could do was gaze through the hazy mist and think straight across is Florida if I just head over and keep going I'd hit Naples? San Marco Island? Ya gotta let go of that though and take on the adventure, and know really know that this will be great, just another layer of living.
It's rained quite a bit this year so the area has remained green, flowers are still blooming and the WIND has not yet begun. Hopefully this will be a more normal year and it won't be howling constantly like last season. We love our new home it is a dream, with towering ceilings each a different Tray pattern with beautiful moldings all over. Huge shiny Porcelain floors, fabulous woodwork everywhere and great big picture windows. The pool we put in is just perfect. Truthfully, I was really reluctant to spend the doe re mi, but after it was all done with a tremendous amount of strum and angst, one day I turned in the kitchen and saw Barry happily, really, happily paddling around in it. His year has been hellish, and he has been uber stressed. I just couldn't hold onto to my money squandering fears in sight of such pure delight on the part of my beloved. He has destresed and detoxed in and around the pool, although it's been open such a short part of the season. It was funny to watch him Sunday in the 72' degree water. Don't forget we've got tropic blood now, he was nearly blue when he came out.
I had a Haddasah tea here the Sunday after Margo's wedding. I had out all my beautiful china tea sets and my silver. I hadn't done this in a very long time. We fixed lots of cute sandwiches, I baked scones, cookies, shortbread and pound cake. Rossana made her cucumber sandwiches, I made egg salad, tiny crackers with home made hummos and cilantro, and Kurisit sandwiches. The house looked smashing and the cats were confined to the den with the T.V. on for company. The ladies arrive, Elka starts the presentation... remember I mentioned the great big picture windows? Now we have a great big view of Barry in his bathing suite laying down on the chaise, walking back and forth cleaning the pool and doing what ever, with his great body like the cabana pool boy. All these old ladies are mesmerized by the sight of my honey "relaxing" by the pool. Forget my beautiful china, the house, the hit of the "tea" was Barry and his fab. bod.
The biggest part of our adventurous move way down in the Rio Grande Valley was the momentous meeting of the Bogorads. Geoff and Rossana are our brother and sister in so many ways. They adopted us, saved my sanity and brought a kind of friendship for me that I have never had, nor expect to have again. To say that Rossana and I look nothing alike is an understatement, not to mention my New York accent and her Cordobian Spanish accent, yet everyone who meets us thinks we are sisters and refers to us as so. It is true enough in the sense that we are Soul Mates. Funny really, how astonishing a relationship. Danielle, and Joseph are my surrogate children, nephew niece. Poor kids I give them the "talks" when they need them as if they were my own. Yet they indulge my need to mother, and we have a bond I think that is very special.
So as I always say it was Beshert, coming here where names like Tipotex, pay homage to where we lie on the map. Where a Sheriff in Jail for taking bribes in dealing with the border can run unopposed from his Jail cell, and people will STILL vote for him cause they like him and he's a good Sheriff. One Judge said he isn't the first and won't be the last as he lists all the other crooked politicians and public servants who've done jail time. Hey look this is the state that gave us the Idiot Bush, enough said.
We've been to the little local theatre for a few plays, attended some great live music at the funky art gallery 409, manned a table at the Boo at the Zoo last Thursday, gone to a few festivals at the beach and made a few friends. As always Barry and I love to entertain and we've had a few dinners and parties. We hope to get a group together for a dance night either here or at some venue. I need to get some Karaoke music for B's machine and do a night maybe with dancing. Lately we've been renting funky foreign films and watching it on our huge flat screen in the den. I am enjoying that very much and look forward to our next odd ball pick. Rossana as always is my partner in crime.
"Language shapes consciousness, and the use of language to shape consciousness is an important branch of magic." Starhawk, Dreaming the Dark
We cross over the border with regularity, and this is probably my most favorite activity of all. I am astonished how much I enjoy Mexico and the Mexican culture and people. Yes, food is always a motivating factor in my life and the food there has been great, but it goes beyond my stomach as it were. Here the people are sincere, polite and interested in talking to you. Yes, yes there are thieves and the poor and the near subsistence part of Mexico mixed in, but the spirit of the people is very fetching to me. I have come to admire the work ethic, community and close family ties. It is also harder to make friends as an Anglo or outsider but not impossible.
My Spanish is lagging along, although my vocabulary gets bigger each day I still am unable to make my self intelligible. Hilda comes once a month to clean she is a g-d send as these floors although beautiful are a lot of work with the cats. From the time she arrives she speaks to me full tilt with every hope that I understand her fully and that we are having a conversation. Often I do understand and can somewhat comport my self but often I run to the phone and Rossana for a clear interpretation. This amuses Hilda no end and each month I suspect she tests my mettle with more in depth conversations. She loves Pablo bless her and lets him do his crazy while she cleans, I often hear her laughing or quietly admonishing him. He totally responds to her and I think the key here is I need to speak to him in Spanish. He has become such an integral part of our little family. His misdemeanors are often hysterical and we fight hard to rebuke him. Piper is showing his age, he is very lean although he eats heartily his bones show a bit. Arthritis is slowing him down, and when Pablo wrestles him you can see how Pablo takes great care to not really rough Piper up. He kind of play tags and wrestles his old friend. Callie is just the sweetest, no words to describe my little girl. Pablo drives her crazy with his games of hide and seek, tag. Once in awhile she will super discipline him, but mostly she yells plaintively at him. She is so aggrieved at his sport it is funny, and again we have to work up a need to admonish him.
We are certainly not experiencing life in the fast lane here, but I have to say I am enjoying it. So yes Nizzette Brownsville is not so bad.
"Motion or change and identity or rest are the first and second secrets of nature: Motion and Rest. The whole code of her laws may be written on the thumbnail." Emerson
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