QUE' VIVA

September 11, McAllen Texas

Wednesday was 09-09-2009, I'm not sure of the ramifications, number permutations et all, but it was on the whole a good day. I was able to get through a 30 min. Zumba tape without tripping over my self too much these last two days. The weight has stopped coming off and I am at a plateau, I need too firm up all the flesh that seems to be left. I tried on a few of my old dresses and pants and they are comically grande, xtra big on me, yet when I see pictures of myself I do not see any changes I seem to look as fat and tum tummy as ever! The proof is on the scales, and cloths sizes but not on film or my mind...

Rossana and I were invited to a special event in Matamoros for La Mesa Redonda Panamericana. It was the new officers induction, and our friend Victoria is on the incoming board. Victoria is a marvelous elegant multi-talented woman. Fastidious and trim, her ballet training is visible as well as the horsewoman posture and demeanor. She is a dentist par excellence, her dental spa with its pure oxygen filled room, special lighting, and two lasers have sold me on her high tech all natural approach. Victoria is very involved in the cultural center of her community and is on the forefront of promoting healthy living and lifestyle. No easy task in Mexico.

It is wonderful to be invited to such an August group, Rossana and I have to plan our outfits. Here in Brownsville it is very casual and with my large weight loss, cloths are a big issue right now. My better cloths are at a bare minimum, but I do have one pair of pant, if hidden by a longer jacket I can pin at my waist. I also have a box jacket sequined in an animal print, that will allow me to do this, so, I have it covered. We cross the border looking elegant and fitting the occasion. Rossana, in a black dress and ruby red silk jacket and thin red belt, looks like a jewel with the red set we pull from the jewelry collection. As usual the dynamic duo is early, the invitation says four we learn it is really slated for five. Having a very expensive lemonade at the hotel restaurant we bide our time as other elegant ladies arrive and also have coffee etc. Slowly woman from all over the valley trickle in, as well as those whose chapter is in Mexico. The Mayors mother as well as other VIP wives are so noted, and we are asked if we are VIPS. Well, no I guess we are only two nice ladies from Brownsville, rather ordinary in some way but very very special in others. Oh and the funny uncanny question comes up again are you sisters?

Vicky is part of the master of ceremonies duo so she is furiously working out the details with her other half and can not visit with us before hand. Seated at our table we watch the proceedings take shape and meet our fellow table mate. Victoria, has a wonderful speaking voice and is a terrific singer and performer this is a natural for her. A local high school color guard files in as well as the high school Mariachi band, they await the invocation to present the flag and play the National Anthem. I have heard it before at the beginning of soccer matches this is the first time it is so intimate. It really is very striking with the flags being presented and the band playing. Once started the ceremonies are formal and quite a bit different than ours. We seem so informal in comparison. Several times during the proceedings and speeches they repeat their motto in English "One for all, and all for one." As I recall Alexander Dumas coined the phrase for his Three Musketeers series. An interesting choice. As I understand it the lady who spearheaded this organization was from Texas with roots deep in Mexico. Among other things they sponsor full scholarships and this year there will be six.

The young woman on my left at the table is also a guest of Victoria, she and her husband own a "stamp" business. In Mexico an employer can give their employees bonuses and raises by way of purchasing stamps. These stamps are good at any grocery store, tax free to both the employee and employer. A very novel way of raising the standard of living.

Liquid Spanish flows and washes over me. I have stopped trying to self translate and just enjoy the sound. I have the luxury of observing the process, and the assembled ladies. Eventually a dinner of Mexican Meatloaf is served with bread and potatoes. I had been smelling the enticing aroma of Jalapeno peppers only to find the pickled variety on the table. Unlike Rossana who hates pickles and loves the pickled pepper, I love pickles and loath the pickled pepper. I eat at least one cooked or raw pepper a day. I swear it kicks my metabolic rate into high gear. The older traditional (eating) woman of the valley are slim, spry and very vital, it is only the succeeding generations that are so heavy and out of shape. It is the American diet of fast foods that have corrupted the traditional Mexican diet that is so close to the Mediterranean one.

It is dark and we are seconds away from the border, at this time of the evening crossing is a snap. I felt though that I had been decades away, while in Brownsville I am in the 21st century. It is when I cross the border I am transported back to an earlier more formal yet more leasurly time. The civility I find across the border is so pronounced, it feels like we are heathens and lunatics in comparison. Our collective ancestors, parents and grands are twisting and turning with appall at our new cultural icons and morays. We as a nation have been in a steady decline in so many ways, until now a thin thread of civility has kept us from being the proverbial Huns. This summer the veneer was stripped and we as a people have become nothing less than bores and truly the ugly American of repute. I am a relic. Without civility and manners we as a Nation are doomed as the Romans doomed themselves with excess, complacency and the attitude of superiority, and divine right. History always repeats it's self, where are the Egyptians, Spanish? What of modern British society, my daughter tells me, they are drunkards who have lost all civility, and culture. We fail utterly once we forget how to be kind, humane, courteous. The utter deceit and theft of whole truth (s) condemns us to a rapid decline and mediocrity as a people and a nation. Ethics, civility, and fidelity are dead words in our culture, it has become a very cruel world.

Here they shake hands, and everyone receives a kiss. Children greet/part with you, with a handshake and a clear eyed acknowledgment. Greetings are voiced, as are formal goodbyes given in the same way as the salutation. For a moment you are connected and welcomed in. Your parting means something. When someone passes by they acknowledge you and murmur Con Permiso, eye contact. Good afternoon/evening, charming, consistent, warmth. It survives here and reminds me of my childhood, the lessons of yes 'mam and sir. It is not all butterscotch and whipped cream. I find the disconnect here as well, but people are on a whole courteous. We need to work on the littering and disregard for property and my pet peeve replacing the shopping carts to the holders here, but by g-d people are nice and helpful. It is the little touches though that are charming. I am drawn to the culture, food and way of life. I would happily retire to Mexico given the chance, I hope that they can work out the vast problems of a poor nation, and take back the regions that are bedeviled by the drug cartels here. The Mexican people truly deserve better and a Fence is not the answer.

Did I mention once again I am writing at an airport awaiting our delayed plane for Albuquerque, I seem to do my best writing on the fly.

"Que' Viva," is taking us to New Mexico, Santa Fe. Nearly a year ago Margo and Ricky were married in Brooklyn N.Y. Now the family is headed for a party given by Rickys family. Converging from different parts of the compass we will meet at the hotel where the party is being held. It will be fast and furious as we travel today, party tomorrow and head back on Sunday with Goli in tow. If I look back a year I see myself sick and at the end of my proverbial rope. My knee and hip joint messed up and flaming with pain. This year thanks to the surgery and the shots in my joints I am new, reborn invigorated and waiting to dance at La Fiesta! Without exaggeration I feel the best I have in thirty years and that is a very long time. With VSL#3 containing my acute IBS, Prilosec OTC, I have a new spring in my step. A miracle was wrought and this Rosh Hashona I gave extra thanks, dues and praise.

So I sit waiting and hoping the storms skipping around will not delay us further. After months of severe drought we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, no cool front yet but we are just a few weeks away from a break. When we get back Goli will get a day at the beach. The bugs and mosquitos are back with a vengeance so as usual it's the good with the bad.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

We caught the new train from ABQ airport, the Road Runner, a meep meep sound as the door closes from stop to stop looses it's cuteness after the sixth stop. It was that way in London with "mind the step", as one accesses and egress from the trains. Margo and Ricky picked us up and transported us to the hotel. We dined at a great restaurant on true New Mex food. I had green, Barry had Christmas (green and red) salsa. I think he had Carne Asado rich and redolent but surely cooked with cinnamon. I had an enchalada y pollo and rice. Rickys sister Carmella is running to the airport to pick up Goli and Adam. Barry and I want to go dancing and we are trying to see who wants to continue the party. When we get back to the hotel, in the lobby are A.J., Goli, Mel, and her friend Melissa, they are wolfing down McDonalds to my chagrin. After chatting all around I realize that there will be no dancing tonight I have just hit the wall and no one else salutes that flag.

Saturday, September 12

We spent the morning watching the pet parade a yearly event on this weekend of burning the Zozobra. Costumed Children and their pets with parents costumed or not parade down the main street. There have been dogs, cats, rabbits, chickens a horse and ferrets. We all got very involved with some dog poop left to languish right in the middle of the parade route trying to warn off the unwary and comiserating with a few who ventured in. Eventually a gent with a plastic bag ventured over and spoiled the rather sadisitc fun we were all having with the poop. I voulnteered a peice of paper to cover the remains and Goli annointed it. Craig was clicking away with his camera so there may even be photo evidence of this "accident", on record. All in all this incident was the most entertaining of the whole parade cute outfits or not. The crowds are thick and festive and we are being carried along. Nine of us try to stick together and after ebbing and flowing in and out of stores, boutiques and galleries we split up with a plan to meet later at the sister hotel of ours in town. Barry and I wander around window shopping he has an eye for a new Bolero but the ones here are just too dear and I know we can get them in Mexico for less. I hate playing tourist, it's even more surreal when we find that most of the shop keeps are Middle Eastern, with few locals. Most of the new owners are from the New York metropolitan area. We are no longer a village but a global community. There is an unpleasant moment when one shop keeper refuses to tell me the price of a Jewish star (Mogen David) I have in mind for Rossana, he intimates that he won't tell me or sell to me because "Jews" are too cheap to pay. Yeah well, I won't even go there...

After that I am not interested in shopping for anything and we find a nice cafe for lunch. Taking the hotel jitney back, after Goli literally crowns herself on the door of the minibus we all split up to rest and get our best bib and tucker on for the evening.

The air has been crisp and clean with a wonderful sweet scent although high up in the mountains and a little thin, it is such a rare treat for us, Craig can't get enough after the stifling heat and oppressive nature of the air in Brownsville. We have been wearing long sleeves and the evening air is a bit nippy. The big outdoor fireplace has been glowing with coals and sends out the crisp autumn scent I have missed all these years. The last time we were in Colonial Williamsburg for Thanksgiving it was too warm for the braziers and fireplaces, the first year we went was truly cold and the bonfire was lit the town glowed and crackled.

The ball room is full of people, and as last year I marvel at my family how handsome and beautiful they all are. My dress is purple really purple and I have great new shoes on that fit like a glove. They are my new favorites, and as I dance on them later I realize they are now my new dance shoes as well, thank you Steinmart for all. Margo as usual has found a dress so Marilyn Monroe and fifties, a white top black under the bust line down with a cute black bolero jacket, I have loaned her my black and silver suite although she does not wear the matching earings a bit much for her. Ricky wears a lovely tailored suit, and my boys are smart in their suites and ties very dapper really, like my dad honestly. Goli is wearing a mod tiny floaty handkerchief thing that had to have cost a bomb as it molds to her in silk it hugs her curvy frame and she wears her sky scraper shoes. When you aren't even five feet, even with four inch heals your at a disadvantage. Barry looks so handsome in his starched silk black shirt shot with silver, black tie and suit. We really should play dress up more often. The single girls go crazy for his suspenders later when he removes his jacket in the heat while we dance. It's cute really although I think someone tried to pick him up ahem... It must have been quite a shock when he stated he was Margo's step dad. Mel and Carmen look lovely and chic, they do their best to introduce us around we are easily one hundred and fifty people. After a little bit Barry and I begin to introduce ourselves to everyone at the tables. Having gone around the room we relax a bit more. I am able to observe Margo and Ricky with his family and friends. Rickys father and his family, his mothers family, his Aunts and Grandmother are all dolls and it really does feel like family to me. His cousin made all of the beautiful corsages and boutineers, and an Aunt put together the elegant flower centerpieces adorning the tables and dais table.

Once dinner is over we file into a line and do "La Danca" kind of like a Rhumba line and Hora combined into one. Ricky's great Aunt is at the head and I am not sure who brings up the rear as the line is two rooms long. After I think six or seven passes we do an under the arms tent kind of thing, it is hot I mean hot and we are all soon soaked with sweat. The air conditiong is not functioning. A first dance is done with the bride and groom but Ricky has put his foot down no more wedding stuff, and so no ceremonial cake cutting, or champagne toasts. Rick is a shy man and he has hit his good nature'd limit for this kind of limelight. Outside in the wide foyer a huge group of people have gathered and are buying drinks at the portable bar. Word has spread that Rick is in town and all of his friends have come to have a drink and visit with their old friend. Those who were not invited to the more formal party are as numerous as those in the ballroom and it is a mob. I try to meet as many as I can outside the room and visit with these young people devoted to Ricky. It is a testament to my son-in-love that so many people have turned out to see him.

Dancing and enjoying the music and the excentric D.J. We are all on the dance floor Ira and his wife, the kids, B and myself Goli and Adam, Carmen, Mel, Melissa, Aunts, Uncles, the only hold out is Craig, I am working on him yet. Barry and I have sussed out the Salsa party being held downstairs and spread the word around the crowd that after the formal party ends at ten we should go down to the Latin dance party.

We find ourselves alone downstairs and I try to get our group together, but have no success so B and I dance and watch the Santa Fe latin dance crowd. The rest of the party is in the upstairs bar enjoying more drinks and family visiting, the kids have stashed plenty of beer in their suite as the cost of open bar and all night drinking can be a bomb. After we leave about 12:30 Margo tells me they all snuck in but didn't see us. It was a fun night and we really appreciated all the love and attention Mel and Carmen put into that party, and the whole weekend. We loved Santa Fe and would love to go back and connect with the Martinez and Casados family.

to be continued;

I to my fortune...

"And me they left with those of Epidamnum.
What then became of them, I cannot tell;
I to this fortune you see me in."

According to my bog it's been eight months since I last wrote. Wow eight months, a lot has happened and yet very little has changed. Adam and Goli's townhouse is done and they will be moving in any day now, Margo and Rick have been to Italy, and are heading to Spain this weekend and had another visit to Paris not that long ago. Craig, is no longer in Miami but starting his third week here in the Valley although a bit under the weather he is getting along.

I had surgery in February after years of not taking care of a seriously deteriorating condition we finally made the trip to Houston and I spent a week in the hospital. The tests I took were exhaustive and exhausting, but the results showed I have a strong healthy heart and no other red flags. When the surgery was done we headed home for a long and slow recovery, it was all worth it.

This health care debate is very near and dear to my heart. When I was divorced I lost health-care and frankly what I could get was ridiculously expensive and had so many existing condition clauses it was full of Swiss cheese. I finally had to let it go all together and pay out of pocket for a D&C and two lumpectomies that nearly wiped me out financially. Now that I am on Barry's plan I am making up for a decade of neglect and even had my first Dental checkup in nearly seven years. It is a sham and a crying shame that I and others like me had to suffer for untold years for lack of health coverage. Craig is now in that boat and still they say we are moving too fast, I'll tell you what let's take away all your bennies and see how fast you have to move with a sick child or spouse. Five months later and the bills are still rolling in and even with good coverage we are about the 3-4 thousand mark out of pocket for my surgery. Boy I do need my soapbox from time to time eh?

I also discovered through a very persistent friend a near cure to my IBS. I have been suffering for over thirty years with a progressively debilitating form of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Well VSL#3 from the Mayo clinic has turned that around and I can say I am 97-100% cured. It is in a word a miracle. It works for IBS, Colitis, and Pouchitis. I sing it's praises and now take it every other day. Believe me I tried everything and anything spent thousands of dollars and this works.

Just after mother's day as a gift from Adam and Goli, I spent time with them at Sholeh's and enjoyed the break from Brownsville. We had a great time and I should have stayed longer but then poor Barry just doesn't know when to come home, and eat when I am gone. I do love the D.C. area, but didn't get out and see my other friends so next time I will do some dancing and visiting. Hey it is such a SMALL world. Jean-Marie graduated Temple U. Law school and Goli and I drove up to surprise them. Sitting in the Theatre I see a face so familiar right in front of me and boom I realise it is one of my dance friends from D.C. Her daughter became an over night dance sensation in the Hustle world, and it was Erika's graduation from Law School. Again Congratulations are due to a very pregnant Jean-Marie, lot's of luck to the upcoming licence boards. Goli and I enjoyed the dinner and connecting with the Dunn/Kane family.

While up in the wilds of the gorgeous North we went back to a favorite stomping ground of mine, Longwood Gardens. Talk about sensory over load! Lush lush lush. We met my former husband and his new, new wife of a few weeks Leeanna. This is Ira's third and I hope a happy marriage. It was awkward to say the least after the second wife debacle and her treatment of my kids. It was a wonderful warm sunny Sunday, and I think we all enjoyed the gardens. My life tends toward the dramatic without any direct drama from me. It does keep it interesting though. Hilarious often...

The wind is howling today the temps are about 97 degrees without the heat index so it's about 100+, and not a spot of rain or moisture. Wild fires have been burning in some of the surrounding counties and it doesn't look like any rain for the next two and a half weeks at least. I lost the French lavender and the new Jade plants. Nothing can thrive here but cactus in this drought. I guess I could zero scape but gosh I do need the green around me. When I was up in D.C./VA it was so lush so overly abundant with flowers blooming and so many shades of green. I couldn't get enough it was as if my heart was filling up with all that I have been missing in the last few years. I wouldn't be adverse to becoming a part timer up North again, but not in the winter uh uh, no.

When we first moved down I was going ape s---, cause I was bored. I went into a little beading shop and they didn't speak any English, yet I knew I wanted to learn, so a few months ago I dragged Rossana into another shop she remembered downtown. We took a lesson (translated for me) made a necklace and earrings and I have been at it ever since. It has been my intention to find SOMETHING I could do to make money and work from home. I am not technologically savvy so it had to be either with my head or hands, BINGO! I am delighted and a bit taken aback that I am now creating and making really beautiful high end costume jewelry. My sister Pam was always the crafty one, with her ability to sew, knit, crochet, really super beautiful stuff. I did do quilts many years ago and was quiet good but didn't keep up with it. Now zoom I am in love and obsessed. It is a very expensive obsession, so I need to start selling soon. I have very high hopes I can finally realize a source of financial stability for myself that doesn't rely on the great physical strength that has served me so well most of my life. I am limited to some of that physicality now yet I am healthier and stronger than I have been in a number of years, since the surgery. I am draging Rossana into the buisness so she can help me make my creations the name RoMi seems a good fit.

So many things to say about life (here) so many observations that I should have doccumented and that are gone now, I need to do this on a more regular basis if not for you than just for me. More stories to tell about the past and the players who are no longer on stage with us, before they are not even memories.

"I hope I shall have leisure to make good,
If this not be a dream I see and hear." Shakespeare's The Comedy of Erros