Après Tempus Fugit

The new editing system on this blog blows chunks so sorry if my margins spelling spacing
 etc. etc. I can't scroll or edit properly so it's taking me twice as long to write this, I may have to buy a stupid app! Anyway...

About my lessons they may seem to others no brainers or even a bit self couscous, self indulgent however these are my life lessons and experiences that are chronicled, cull what you like. 

I've made many mistakes mostly out of ignorance and lack of experience, some out of shear negligence and apathy, and the worst; from a deliberate kind of blindness choosing to think or act one way full knowing the truth. We pay for that in time, friendships and lost opportunities GRIEF.  My goals are to never loose that again. It's been my practice for as many years as I can remember, and I may have written this before but it's worth repeating that before I fall asleep, I review my day. If I find that I was unhappy, upset, anything that didn't work I resolve to find away to fix and never repeat this. Not so easy but do-able. My ultimate goal is a page out of my sister Pam's book, to be happy. If your not happy none of its good, nothing. This is not the momentary quick happy  but the deep long lasting abiding happy. It's a core thing looking deep in to your core, no more pretense no more persuading myself it'll be okay, or when blank happens...

DO NOT KID YOURSELF ON ANYTHING

Not sure how many lessons that is, but they are mine and I've got the medals and scars.

When I stayed with Margo and Rick awaiting the arrival of Niko in London, I saw a world so different than ours in the U.S. although we share common language heritage et. all. I'd been to the U.K. many times before as adjunct to Ira for work, or with Adam while he studied in Scotland. As a temporary resident of Hackney (five weeks), I could have been anywhere on the planet. In a six block radius we were in Jamaica, Turkey, Morocco, Africa, Asia the West Indies, India. More nations, dress, food, mores, dialects than I ever experienced in NY. I gawked at everything like a hick from a one horse town, it was all new and not necessarily exciting. I did feel threatened on occasion very out of place (says the wherra from Brownsville). There were no "Englishmen". Not unless you went closer to the city and the tourist areas, in the neighborhoods though they were a dead breed. Replaced by thugs and drunks. The local butcher shop was an oasis they were kind curtious and very English, olde school. The British culture as I knew it was supplanted and dead, I understood then when Margo came back to the states apart from needing to be closer to family, why they chose to leave.

Staying with them in Santa Fe was no less a huge change of venue. The clean piñon scented air, vistas of mountains valleys and adobe style homes a world apart. Everywhere you look is nothing like anywhere you'd been. The ride to Echo canyon, Chama, Albaqurgue was like changing channels on cable constantly. Whole Foods culture a world in its own, the food, people all of set apart from my  east coast, south of the iron grande coast expereiance. Thay dry Mt. Air a respite for the weary.          

When we were once all together in this new world it was my dream my ultimate birthday dream. Thank you Barry for allowing me to have the time with Niko, and for accommodating me in my 60th B'day wish. No blow out party high priced dinner with attending blow out gifts could ever have meant more to me. All that I received was gravy, the meat was being with you all, my plate could only have been fuller if all the machatunum could have been there...

Lesson#25 be clear and honest with yourself about what you really want and value, the being authentic thing is it. 

Now I can't change this blinkity blink thing back! Hate this. Okay more blogging later Oy!